Monday, November 11, 2013
Dear Future Husband 2....
I typed this up in 2011. It's been lying around here as a draft for 2 years. People clamored on Facebook for a part 2. I guess I could not post it because it was a lot more mushy than the first where I was demanding and snotty.
Dear Future Husband,
You are taking your precious time, I have met a couple of frogs and some of them were mine.....
May I call you DFH?
I might prove to have a very tough exterior but on the inside, I'm a softie..lol...I'm not sure I believe it but that's what most people say so I'll say it.
I dream of you nowadays. Sincerely. I know what I want you to be, don't disappoint me...
It's not bad for a girl to dream, is it?
So I don't believe in romance and I don't believe in love. If you're a good companion, you will be sent from above.
A romantic gesture for me would be slow dancing in the middle of traffic..lol..but with Lagos roads that's planning a suicide...
I love stuffed toys, perfumes, dogs and fast cars. I hate dirty houses, dirty dishes, dirty anything.
Dear Future husband, you are taking your precious time,
Dear Future Husband, I long to call you mine.....
A Comeback? Maybe?
I have been wondering what it would feel like to blog again. I have not posted anything on line except of course my twitter feed, which in itself I have contributed to sparingly, in 2 years. There is no one here, anyway. Those who I used to thirst for their blog posts have long stopped blogging. What would be the use? Sharing my thoughts with an echo?
An echo so loud, the cacophony occupies your thoughts, making you think of nothing other than the resounding silence that precedes the outpour of your innermost thoughts, the outflow of emotion.
I remember logging on last year and as if with a vengeance, deleting loads and loads of posts. Almost so my future employer would not run into any of my former blog posts and decide not to employ me.
Okay seriously, some of my former blog posts just read embarrassing!
I can't laugh. Now, I call myself a writer. I read what I wrote in the past and I cringe. I couldn't even take time to capitalize what needed to be capitalized and I used many many contractions. I still do. Don't blame me. Blogging was a semi formal sort of place, in fact it was an informal place one could pour what ever needed pouring. And I poured. I remember spewing stuff about painful break ups and letting go of relationships that hurt. I read some blogs now and I see the same pattern and I know...
.......This jero just started blogging...
There are some blogs I read and I end up being impressed. Some people caught on really late to the blogging thing and they are doing a pretty decent job of it. This morning, I thought again about it, even if I wanted to come back, what do I make this blog about? Do I continue with the randomness that I have sustained since 2007 on this space where I used to vent everything and anything.
Before I ramble on about nothing, I am trying to decide, do I make a come back or not?
An echo so loud, the cacophony occupies your thoughts, making you think of nothing other than the resounding silence that precedes the outpour of your innermost thoughts, the outflow of emotion.
I remember logging on last year and as if with a vengeance, deleting loads and loads of posts. Almost so my future employer would not run into any of my former blog posts and decide not to employ me.
Okay seriously, some of my former blog posts just read embarrassing!
I can't laugh. Now, I call myself a writer. I read what I wrote in the past and I cringe. I couldn't even take time to capitalize what needed to be capitalized and I used many many contractions. I still do. Don't blame me. Blogging was a semi formal sort of place, in fact it was an informal place one could pour what ever needed pouring. And I poured. I remember spewing stuff about painful break ups and letting go of relationships that hurt. I read some blogs now and I see the same pattern and I know...
.......This jero just started blogging...
There are some blogs I read and I end up being impressed. Some people caught on really late to the blogging thing and they are doing a pretty decent job of it. This morning, I thought again about it, even if I wanted to come back, what do I make this blog about? Do I continue with the randomness that I have sustained since 2007 on this space where I used to vent everything and anything.
Before I ramble on about nothing, I am trying to decide, do I make a come back or not?
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Dear Future Husband
Dear Future Husband,
I am writing this note to you because in my life have been described as eccentric or just plain weird even though I consider myself quite plain simple. This situation made me decide to give you some pointers on how to go about dealing with the personality that is me in a manner that will make both our lives easier especially when living under the same roof.
Dear Future Husband, you should have realised in the pre knowing me phase that detest being "toasted". The "Hey baby" "Ii miiss you" and all that rubbish seems to fly over my head like a flock of geese. I know lines when I hear them and I am quiiiite plain spoken so I would have probably said to you once or twiice in the "pre knowing" me stage to just stop all that silliness. Even the words "I love you" *grimace*, "can't do without you", "can't get you out of my mind"...*insert barfing sound*. oh well, if you do become my DFH, all these lines stay far far away so we have a happy marriage ok?
Dear Future Husband, Can I call you DFH?
I am not a morning person! if you ever, even by mistake, happen to see the face I make when I am woken in the early hours of the day, and by early, I am reffering to hours before 11 am, please do not panic. For some really awful reason, I find it almost impossible to function anytime before midday so I am grouchy in the morning, sorry, can't put two coherent thoughts together or be bothered to put a smile oon my face. That said, If by any chance you were expecting "sunny side up" for breakfast, please dump those evil thoughts now! Talking about breakfast, could you handle it? I promise that Lunch, Dinner, Midnight snacks will be the complete epitome of fabulosity but breakfast? *shudders*
DFH, despite the "goings on" about little things and how men seem t have been created without the little things button and all the self help books on how good wives ignore the little things and not let it get to them? Trust me DFH, the little things will matter with me. DFH, leaving the toilet seat up, I'm not even going to assume that you would mess it up, squeezing the toothpaste tube from the middle and not the bottom, YES! Those little things! They will drive me crazier than a mad woman who saw her period. DFH, my crazy buttons are highly functional so if you see me piick up that annoying tube of paste and just squish it and stomp on it repeatedly or slam the lid of the WC dowN and jump up and dooown on it like a monkey while hollering at the top of my lungs UP! DOOWN! UP! DOWN! DOOWN! DOWN! you shoould know DFH, that enough is enooough.
DFH, I know this is a lot to swallow all at once so I have decided to give it to you in very small doses. Don't mind me, might prove to have a tough exterior but on the inside I'm a softie. Looking forward to meeting you tho'. Haven't met you yet, I'm afraid.
I am writing this note to you because in my life have been described as eccentric or just plain weird even though I consider myself quite plain simple. This situation made me decide to give you some pointers on how to go about dealing with the personality that is me in a manner that will make both our lives easier especially when living under the same roof.
Dear Future Husband, you should have realised in the pre knowing me phase that detest being "toasted". The "Hey baby" "Ii miiss you" and all that rubbish seems to fly over my head like a flock of geese. I know lines when I hear them and I am quiiiite plain spoken so I would have probably said to you once or twiice in the "pre knowing" me stage to just stop all that silliness. Even the words "I love you" *grimace*, "can't do without you", "can't get you out of my mind"...*insert barfing sound*. oh well, if you do become my DFH, all these lines stay far far away so we have a happy marriage ok?
Dear Future Husband, Can I call you DFH?
I am not a morning person! if you ever, even by mistake, happen to see the face I make when I am woken in the early hours of the day, and by early, I am reffering to hours before 11 am, please do not panic. For some really awful reason, I find it almost impossible to function anytime before midday so I am grouchy in the morning, sorry, can't put two coherent thoughts together or be bothered to put a smile oon my face. That said, If by any chance you were expecting "sunny side up" for breakfast, please dump those evil thoughts now! Talking about breakfast, could you handle it? I promise that Lunch, Dinner, Midnight snacks will be the complete epitome of fabulosity but breakfast? *shudders*
DFH, despite the "goings on" about little things and how men seem t have been created without the little things button and all the self help books on how good wives ignore the little things and not let it get to them? Trust me DFH, the little things will matter with me. DFH, leaving the toilet seat up, I'm not even going to assume that you would mess it up, squeezing the toothpaste tube from the middle and not the bottom, YES! Those little things! They will drive me crazier than a mad woman who saw her period. DFH, my crazy buttons are highly functional so if you see me piick up that annoying tube of paste and just squish it and stomp on it repeatedly or slam the lid of the WC dowN and jump up and dooown on it like a monkey while hollering at the top of my lungs UP! DOOWN! UP! DOWN! DOOWN! DOWN! you shoould know DFH, that enough is enooough.
DFH, I know this is a lot to swallow all at once so I have decided to give it to you in very small doses. Don't mind me, might prove to have a tough exterior but on the inside I'm a softie. Looking forward to meeting you tho'. Haven't met you yet, I'm afraid.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Am I rising from the ashes or did I just forget to dust?
I completely stole that title. It was really catchy when I saw it. Guess it just struck mw cos it kinda applied to me as well.
A friend of mine accused me quite recently of being a recluse or was it turning into a hermit he called it? I forget.
Another friend, this one I kinda have a crush on calls me antisocial everytime he sees me. So I decided to do something about it. First, I had to figure out what it was that made me comfortable in my house than in the outside world. And sadly, it is not just more my house I'm comfortable in. I have this affection for staying within the confines of my room even when Im in my house. Just 3 days ago I was leaving the living room after getting caught up by some of the drama on Big brother and my kid brother broke into applause.
I stared at him wondering if he had gone off his rocker, only for him to declare 'she spent 3 straight hours in the parlour! the world is coming to an end! tut tut tut...
So, what was holding me back? I am naturally a shy individual...I can see some jaws dropping in shock...lol..true, I'm shy and would rather remain quiet until provocated...*big grin*
but is that enough to keep me on the inside? I realised that until some of my girlfriends saved me from utter misery early this month, I hadnt seen a movie at the cinemas in almost a year. I haven't had a pizza in 2 years and No! I wasn't watching my weight so wipe that silly smirk off your faces. Clubs have never been my scene though I absolutely adore dancing, I get my groove on in my room. Exschoolnerd invited me once for "Sundays at the Bay" but my non chalant mumble (oomph) both times she did probably made her stop asking...lol . No vex love,My entertainment is through my Laptop and my blackberry...smh...
The list is endless! Ma elder sister who is supposed to be the socially awkward one, though she makes friends at the drop of a hat has gone bowling and go cart racing so many times in the last 2 years! I have done none of those things and its 2011!
So what happened to me in the past two years? I forgot to dust! Time just kept passing me by and I got too preoccupied with what was going on in my life, I just didnt take the time to try to have fun. I have to conciously remind myself to make an effort. This last two years have gone by so fast and if I continue like this, there'll be two more years passing me by.
I know there are probably folks out there whose cases might be worse than mine or similar to mine, now before we become old maids with crochet pins and knitting wool on a rocking chair in one dusty corner of a musty old attic, lets shake off the gathering cobwebs, try to have fun once in a while, make an extra effort to make a friend, do more than stare at your pc or blackberry all day, get a little human contact as well. find a spot you can relax and have a lil fun, be it a spa, bowling alley, coffee shop, Pizza parlour, Dancehall, anywhere you can, just dont forget to dust!
That reminds me, Taruwa! Another thing I haven't done in 2 years!
By the way, I saw this HTC smartphone last week..broke one of the ten commandments immediately..nah, not Thou shall not steal silly, the other one..The one on Coveteousness...That's completely by the way...
A friend of mine accused me quite recently of being a recluse or was it turning into a hermit he called it? I forget.
Another friend, this one I kinda have a crush on calls me antisocial everytime he sees me. So I decided to do something about it. First, I had to figure out what it was that made me comfortable in my house than in the outside world. And sadly, it is not just more my house I'm comfortable in. I have this affection for staying within the confines of my room even when Im in my house. Just 3 days ago I was leaving the living room after getting caught up by some of the drama on Big brother and my kid brother broke into applause.
I stared at him wondering if he had gone off his rocker, only for him to declare 'she spent 3 straight hours in the parlour! the world is coming to an end! tut tut tut...
So, what was holding me back? I am naturally a shy individual...I can see some jaws dropping in shock...lol..true, I'm shy and would rather remain quiet until provocated...*big grin*
but is that enough to keep me on the inside? I realised that until some of my girlfriends saved me from utter misery early this month, I hadnt seen a movie at the cinemas in almost a year. I haven't had a pizza in 2 years and No! I wasn't watching my weight so wipe that silly smirk off your faces. Clubs have never been my scene though I absolutely adore dancing, I get my groove on in my room. Exschoolnerd invited me once for "Sundays at the Bay" but my non chalant mumble (oomph) both times she did probably made her stop asking...lol . No vex love,My entertainment is through my Laptop and my blackberry...smh...
The list is endless! Ma elder sister who is supposed to be the socially awkward one, though she makes friends at the drop of a hat has gone bowling and go cart racing so many times in the last 2 years! I have done none of those things and its 2011!
So what happened to me in the past two years? I forgot to dust! Time just kept passing me by and I got too preoccupied with what was going on in my life, I just didnt take the time to try to have fun. I have to conciously remind myself to make an effort. This last two years have gone by so fast and if I continue like this, there'll be two more years passing me by.
I know there are probably folks out there whose cases might be worse than mine or similar to mine, now before we become old maids with crochet pins and knitting wool on a rocking chair in one dusty corner of a musty old attic, lets shake off the gathering cobwebs, try to have fun once in a while, make an extra effort to make a friend, do more than stare at your pc or blackberry all day, get a little human contact as well. find a spot you can relax and have a lil fun, be it a spa, bowling alley, coffee shop, Pizza parlour, Dancehall, anywhere you can, just dont forget to dust!
That reminds me, Taruwa! Another thing I haven't done in 2 years!
By the way, I saw this HTC smartphone last week..broke one of the ten commandments immediately..nah, not Thou shall not steal silly, the other one..The one on Coveteousness...That's completely by the way...
Sunday, July 17, 2011
When I remember
When I remember
The touch of your hands
The sound of your voice
When remember this
I miss you
The lilt of your laughter
Your wacky character
When I remember this
I miss you
Your reasoning
Yoour passio
Your reasoning, your compassion
Your love for passion
When I remember this
I miss you
Your sincere complexity,
Your terrible oddity
When I remember this
I miss you
Your passion, your gaze
Your heat, your embrace
When I remember this
I miss you
My trouble,your war
MY struggle,your sore
When I remember this
When I remember......
The touch of your hands
The sound of your voice
When remember this
I miss you
The lilt of your laughter
Your wacky character
When I remember this
I miss you
Your reasoning
Yoour passio
Your reasoning, your compassion
Your love for passion
When I remember this
I miss you
Your sincere complexity,
Your terrible oddity
When I remember this
I miss you
Your passion, your gaze
Your heat, your embrace
When I remember this
I miss you
My trouble,your war
MY struggle,your sore
When I remember this
When I remember......
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Keep me in your heart for a while
Keep me in your heart for a while
The warmth in there doth make me smile
Its only your love that makes me whole
It reaches right down to my soul
In your heart,my heart resides
Your love in my heart abides
Keep me in your heart for a while
I'm willing to be cuddled up there like a child
Safe and warm, carressed by your gentle touch
Your touch that I crave for so much
Keep me in your heart for a while,
Forget me not, don't say goodbye
Even though I'm lost, I'm gone
Your heart will be my everlasting sun
My footprints on the sands of time
Carved out by each step I took
While amongst you on this nook
Keep me in your heart for a while
Forget me not, don't say goodbye
Even though the night has come
And I never again see the sun
Even though my body's gone
To worlds unknown,To worlds forgone
As I walk down this final aisle
Keep me in your heart for a while
The warmth in there doth make me smile
Its only your love that makes me whole
It reaches right down to my soul
In your heart,my heart resides
Your love in my heart abides
Keep me in your heart for a while
I'm willing to be cuddled up there like a child
Safe and warm, carressed by your gentle touch
Your touch that I crave for so much
Keep me in your heart for a while,
Forget me not, don't say goodbye
Even though I'm lost, I'm gone
Your heart will be my everlasting sun
My footprints on the sands of time
Carved out by each step I took
While amongst you on this nook
Keep me in your heart for a while
Forget me not, don't say goodbye
Even though the night has come
And I never again see the sun
Even though my body's gone
To worlds unknown,To worlds forgone
As I walk down this final aisle
Keep me in your heart for a while
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
How long has it been?
Presently listening to Lupe Fiasco and Skylar Grey talking about words that were never said. I really do not fancy drowning in regret.I have missed being here and pouring out the words I never had the guts to say, or really thought were unnecesary at the time to avoid some sort of confrontation.
So after two years of being away from my blog, Im back. Applause? Anyone?
All I can hear is an echo, as usual...funny, seems a lot of us abandoned bloggsville at the same time. At least all the people that made blogsville fun for me when i started scribbling in 2007.
2011, lets see how long I can keep this up....
So after two years of being away from my blog, Im back. Applause? Anyone?
All I can hear is an echo, as usual...funny, seems a lot of us abandoned bloggsville at the same time. At least all the people that made blogsville fun for me when i started scribbling in 2007.
2011, lets see how long I can keep this up....
Sunday, December 27, 2009
360 days
in the last 360 days i have
grown
lived life
cried real tears
laughed for joy
been depressed
beat depression
felt oppressed
fought oppression
been in love
lost at love
conquered myself
thought i was ready
discovered i wasn't
doubted myself
followed my instincts
forgave
was fogiven
fallen in love with God
thrown God to the curb
been forgiven by God
thought i was alone
realised i wasn't
thought i was in love
realised i wasn't
thought he could love
found out he couldnt
been closer to my dream
had it snatched away
lost myself
found me again
been thankful
been greatful
grumbled
been humbled
facebooked
twittered
said thrash
withered
loved life
lived it
found life
pleased with it
aspired
acquired
been bored
had fun
made friends
lost some
found friends
not one
shouted
pleaded
wanted
needed
learnt
bent
sighed
asked why
smiled
been filled with guile
been wily
been sweet
been bitter
been neat
oooo i'm tired
looking forward to the next year, would probably get to it all over again...the next 360 days
grown
lived life
cried real tears
laughed for joy
been depressed
beat depression
felt oppressed
fought oppression
been in love
lost at love
conquered myself
thought i was ready
discovered i wasn't
doubted myself
followed my instincts
forgave
was fogiven
fallen in love with God
thrown God to the curb
been forgiven by God
thought i was alone
realised i wasn't
thought i was in love
realised i wasn't
thought he could love
found out he couldnt
been closer to my dream
had it snatched away
lost myself
found me again
been thankful
been greatful
grumbled
been humbled
facebooked
twittered
said thrash
withered
loved life
lived it
found life
pleased with it
aspired
acquired
been bored
had fun
made friends
lost some
found friends
not one
shouted
pleaded
wanted
needed
learnt
bent
sighed
asked why
smiled
been filled with guile
been wily
been sweet
been bitter
been neat
oooo i'm tired
looking forward to the next year, would probably get to it all over again...the next 360 days
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
creepy
im awake...sitting in an unfamiliar house up the creek alarmingly close to the island of bananas. it's 5 minutes past 12 and the noises made by this house are creepy.
simple,
the dogs are howling and growling
the front gate is creaking
the fan is squeaking
crickets are chirping
someone outside keeps mummuring
my heart is palpitating
this close to christmas and all i can think of is dying
there's a door in the house that keeps opening and closing
ok, that's it! im going into the kitchen to find out who is playing with that door.
and if i never blog again?
know that i went on a quest only out of jest and i never did guess that the quest would lead to me without a head!
yea, couildn't make the last part rhyme...
i should be beheaded for my attempt at poetry..
simple,
the dogs are howling and growling
the front gate is creaking
the fan is squeaking
crickets are chirping
someone outside keeps mummuring
my heart is palpitating
this close to christmas and all i can think of is dying
there's a door in the house that keeps opening and closing
ok, that's it! im going into the kitchen to find out who is playing with that door.
and if i never blog again?
know that i went on a quest only out of jest and i never did guess that the quest would lead to me without a head!
yea, couildn't make the last part rhyme...
i should be beheaded for my attempt at poetry..
Sunday, December 13, 2009
blah blah blah
oh, the joys of blogging
the joy that blogging brings
i can actually say anything
all the while maybe saying nothing
oh, how much have i missed blogging?
as much as the waters cover the sea
oh the joys of blogging
i was planning to say something
about how much i have missed blogging
thaat would surely co ver ewverything
oh, the joys of blogging
got to get ready to go to out now
will be back to blogging in a bit
have i managed to say something?
the joy that blogging brings
i can actually say anything
all the while maybe saying nothing
oh, how much have i missed blogging?
as much as the waters cover the sea
oh the joys of blogging
i was planning to say something
about how much i have missed blogging
thaat would surely co ver ewverything
oh, the joys of blogging
got to get ready to go to out now
will be back to blogging in a bit
have i managed to say something?
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
nobody's home!!!
sometimes i wonder, what exactly is the value of blogging? just a place to let off steam? cos no one is interested in what u think, no one's home!
ok, so i haven't had a comment dropped in a while, doesn't mean im gonna stop expressing myself...i love this life...i love blogging...see you soon!
ok, so i haven't had a comment dropped in a while, doesn't mean im gonna stop expressing myself...i love this life...i love blogging...see you soon!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
how to get and keep the man of your dreams
Yeah, I know some of y’all are rolling your eyes at the title...and for those of you who are saying the doctor should take her own medicine, go and sit down jo!
First I’ll start with the absolute no no’s
LEADING A MAN INTO THINKING YOU ARE NEEDY AND INSECURE
Girls are expected to expect the guy to pay on first dates. There’s no reason why it shouldn’t be expected but let me let you into a little secret boys, we know that you appreciate girls who lean on you because it makes you feel stronger and such so we accidentally show this in little things such as tripping on the stairs so you can support us, acting helpless so you can drop us off at home or call us a cab, depending on how well the date has gone. Or acting totally clueless around our cars when we had just gone under them to change the tires one hour before the date. WE KNOW YOU LIKE TO FEEL SMARTER, SO WE ACCOMMODATE Y’ALL…lol but ladies, hold up, im thinking Guys don’t buy that any more, they accommodate it for a while, then start thinking they need to get outta there before you need help feeding yourself during the date, ok, just playing but really guys don’t buy the helpless maiden act any more, act like the strong woman you are, you’ll be better for it.
TALKING ABOUT YOUR EXBOYFRIEND IN DEROGATORY TERMS
Now, I don’t even think I need to explain why this is so wrong! Especially when you just got out of a relationship that didn’t go so well, the temptation is great to start mouthing off on how greatly you got hurt and how much of an ass wipe you think your exboyfriend is but CAUTION..ladies, while you are spouting off on your bitterness, take a minute to regard your dates thoughtful sympathetic look, sometimes, he might not be sympathizing with you, he might be pitying the poor sap who got out of your cluthes cos right there you seem like a bitter hag, which is not attractive at all and just suppose your relationship with him does not work out? What if he is one of those far thinkers thinking is this how she’ll bad mouth me in the future? God forbid! So ladies when you are asked about past relationships? Take a deep breath, wait ten seconds, swallow that bile, smile and then speak, you’ll find that it works wonders!
RUNNING OTHER WOMEN DOWN
Yes, we aren’t denying it, it’s in our genes. Sometimes we see that girl rocking those shoes or handbag and we like or have a girl crush immediately but some of us dey beef unnecessarily! Why does it hurt a fellow sister when another sister is looking good? That’s something you swallow when on a date unless you want to drive that guy far far away! And just in case the girl isn’t looking good like in my case when I see a chick struggling with blush looking like some “mammy water” up in the house, I usually pass a comment to myself, not out loud tho’ just loud enough so I can hear, usually makes guys think im a lil loco but ill rather look loco than seem binshy…lol
TOO MUCH PHYSICAL CONTACT
When on a first date or a second or third with a guy you really like, if you have plans on moving the relationship to a level beyond just dates, be careful with the physical contact, not that there shouldn't be physical contact, you know those brush of fingers and such that lead to goosebumps, i know i get them, but the physical contact should not send the wrong signals
TARGETING A MAN'S SEXUAL SIDE FIRST
This is almost like the rule beforehand, but i just thought this should be stressed differently, i know we all like to look hot on first dates, but not too hot so we don't tend to burn down the guy especially if we really like him, the messages we send on the first couple of dates, decide how the rest of the relationship will go so you want to watch what you wear, you can look modest and still look sexy ok?
and finally, this i think is the most important, wait for it...
NOT KNOWING HOW TO MEASURE A GUYS RELATIONSHIP QUOTIENT
GIRLS, THIS IS A SECRET GUYS DONT WANT US TO KNOW, MOST GUYS ARE NOT INTERESTED IN LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS..it's true! so size up your guy, what category does he fall into?
FLING
He just wants you for the meantime, he's bored and in need of a little excitement. listen to him, he'll drop some clues when he's speaking. guys are known to jabo, we are just seeing too many stars to get these clues..
ONE NIGHTER
WE ALL KNOW WHAT THIS GUYS AFTER, SO WATCH OUT GIRLS, HE'LL BE GONE IN THE MORNING!
BED AND BREAKFAST
an upgrade on the one nighter, he'll feed you and then BE GONE IN THE MORNING!
RINGS AND ROSES
now, i personally like to call this roses and romance cos of my whole mbrugh...shudder on the rings thing, can't explain it, but the kind of guy who will woo you, make you swoon and be there to catch you when you fall for him instead of allowing you hit the floor ...YAKATA! will be obvious if you just shine your eyes well well, dont be blown away by his accent, or the fact he drives a jaguar...tho' that's cool too, yea really cool, what was i saying...yea..measure a guy's relationship quotient if you've decided he'll be the man of your dreams, then re evaluate, go back to the books and find out...figure out, if you've been fleeced .
.until i come with the tid bits on how to keep him once you've got him ladies dont forget to ginger your swagger or swagger your ginger whichever one suits your fancy...lol
Sunday, April 19, 2009
im so sorry
im sorry guys, haven't been here a while. just havent felt like blogging in a loooong while. still dont. dealing with a million and one really bad stuff right now and just dont feel like blogging, but il be back...soon...sigh..lol
Monday, February 16, 2009
t.shirt blues
shontelle,ehn that girl was looking for my trouble when she sang the song...yes, it was my trouble she was finding..and my trouble she will get. i love the song, it makes me smile but the sad thing is that i cant wear his t.shirt for understated reassons so i decided to rewrite my own version..it goes thus..
trying to decide trying to decide if i really want to go out tonight
im trying on every outfit, but nothing seems like it really fits
telling myself not to call you
got to go on doing what i can do
there's no sense in doing nothing
even if i cant do something
nothing feels right when im not with you
try to look fly but im feeling blue
wanna go out but im used to you
wanna stand tall,wanna dump my crew
dropping my dress and those yaba shoes,
nothing makes sense, is this all about you
well, im missing you
now...
im trying to try your t shirt on
(but its a bit tight)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(this is making me more miserable)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(have i gained weight?)
im trying to try your t shirt on
sitting on the floor
ive got your t shirt to neck level
this is making me sweat
i can smell you on this t shirt
wait a minute is that not my sweat?
i dont even know why im trying
this frigging t shirt has got me sighing
trying to put my hands now in it
i think i did it its just a tight fit
nothing feels right when im not with you
try to look fly but im feeling blue
wanna go out but im stuck here too
trying this shirt on making me blue
blah, blah,blah
im trying to try your t shirt on
(but its a bit tight)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(have i gained weight?)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(i think ive got it)
now ive got your t shirt on
and i feel foolish....
really, he's a lot slimmer than me, i can't get it on....lol
trying to decide trying to decide if i really want to go out tonight
im trying on every outfit, but nothing seems like it really fits
telling myself not to call you
got to go on doing what i can do
there's no sense in doing nothing
even if i cant do something
nothing feels right when im not with you
try to look fly but im feeling blue
wanna go out but im used to you
wanna stand tall,wanna dump my crew
dropping my dress and those yaba shoes,
nothing makes sense, is this all about you
well, im missing you
now...
im trying to try your t shirt on
(but its a bit tight)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(this is making me more miserable)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(have i gained weight?)
im trying to try your t shirt on
sitting on the floor
ive got your t shirt to neck level
this is making me sweat
i can smell you on this t shirt
wait a minute is that not my sweat?
i dont even know why im trying
this frigging t shirt has got me sighing
trying to put my hands now in it
i think i did it its just a tight fit
nothing feels right when im not with you
try to look fly but im feeling blue
wanna go out but im stuck here too
trying this shirt on making me blue
blah, blah,blah
im trying to try your t shirt on
(but its a bit tight)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(have i gained weight?)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(i think ive got it)
now ive got your t shirt on
and i feel foolish....
really, he's a lot slimmer than me, i can't get it on....lol
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
2 months late for a happy new year?
hey folks, haven't been here in a while i'm so sorry. dont even know why im blogging, i feel lke i have nothing to say. but ill be back, with plenty to say very very soon, in the meantime, new things are in the works for this ineffable lil critter...lol
Thursday, November 20, 2008
feed and fork?
feed and fork....feed and fork...the last words of the deaconess echoed all around the church auditorium as if a taboo had occured in the house of the Lord,in the holy of holies!
a mist cleared from my eyes as i shook my head to clear the mist and the sound echoing deep within my medula...
but she said it to make her point sink in deeply, and trust me, it did, it sank deep, deep in the minds of the astonished young ladies who had just heard the greatly respected deaconess use the word we all prefered to use on the sly and cover our mouths coquettishly in great shock and lower our eyes and wrinkle our noses in great distaste as if we smelled something foul....all na for show!
so that we would seem like good christian girls who didint use the words fork, fork, fork...
anyway, deaconess was mad at us, mad at useless women in general and was pleading with us not to be women of no ambition, women who went,
my dia, i need to buy payint"
so she was urging us to be women of virtue and women who would be busy with thier hands and bring something to the table when we met the man who would tempt us enough to loose our minds and say the words that chain you to them forever? that kain thing..
so she said to make her point sink, i dont want any one of you to end up like those women all a man has to do to keep them is feed and fork...
so i urge you girls just like my deaconess shocked me to death making her point...
dont let them reduce you to FEED AND FORK!!!!!!
a mist cleared from my eyes as i shook my head to clear the mist and the sound echoing deep within my medula...
but she said it to make her point sink in deeply, and trust me, it did, it sank deep, deep in the minds of the astonished young ladies who had just heard the greatly respected deaconess use the word we all prefered to use on the sly and cover our mouths coquettishly in great shock and lower our eyes and wrinkle our noses in great distaste as if we smelled something foul....all na for show!
so that we would seem like good christian girls who didint use the words fork, fork, fork...
anyway, deaconess was mad at us, mad at useless women in general and was pleading with us not to be women of no ambition, women who went,
my dia, i need to buy payint"
so she was urging us to be women of virtue and women who would be busy with thier hands and bring something to the table when we met the man who would tempt us enough to loose our minds and say the words that chain you to them forever? that kain thing..
so she said to make her point sink, i dont want any one of you to end up like those women all a man has to do to keep them is feed and fork...
so i urge you girls just like my deaconess shocked me to death making her point...
dont let them reduce you to FEED AND FORK!!!!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
missing persons alert
where is orobo?
it has come to my notice that there's a missing persons alert has gone out for the location of orobo, orobo who is a seemingly gifted individual seems to have warmed the hearts of mechanics, danfo drivers and okada riders nationwide!
but the sad news is orobo seems to have gone missing over an alarming period of years and has not been located!
yet she remains alive in the hearts of all her fans nationwide, such that they reach out and call her name at random, each hoping they have finally located her...
more alarming is the fact that she must have looked exactly like me!!!
or a couple of other young gifted women nationwide....
if this seems to be the case when you are walking down the street then you know that you must join the nationwide search to avoid this case of mistaken identity...
as i walk down the street past a mechanic shop, two young fellas were staring...one discreetly coughed out the word...orobo while giving me a furtive glance, no im not her, you must be mistaken, i said with a smile....a case of mistaken identity...
as i go to the buspark, where different okada riders were parked i heard the name agan, orobo...i looked back to establish where the name had rung out from but they all looked away, slightly dissapointed im sure that they had not located thier semi godess...
who is orobo, i asked myself, and why on earth does she look like me?
as i tried to board a bus to the market, tejuosho i believe it is called, i heard the conductor go "orobo take am easy o"...i was getting preety frustrated at this point...i am not her! i cried out hoping to reassure him as he looked in my face...but all i got was a bewildered bland stare from him as if i had gone mad!
while in the bus, a young dirty looking man was about to join my seat and he said to me, orobo shift now...but im not her, i protested, i was tired of saying this already,
it looks like this Nigerian people really loved this girl...she must have been a superstar of some sort to be known far and wide by everyone...maybe a movie star even, i mused as my bus made it's way to the market...
when we got to tejuosho, thats another story entirely ill shaRE WITH YOU ANOTHER DAY...
the young men could not stop chanting and reaching for me, orobo come buy from me..they kept on reaching for me and pulling me towards thier stalls, orobo, orobo, orobo, they kept chanting, i decided at this point to keep smiling politely ....a little pretense to be this orobo fella, wont hurt would it?
i declined all thier ofers politely as i bought my african crafts and left the stall.
it was the same heroine worship as i made my way outta the market. orobo, u no go buy? orobo...orobo....it was then i decided to find out who this orobo is...but unfortunately google and alll other search engines weren't any help...
so im reaching out to all Nigerians who read this blog, who is orobo?
where can i find her?
i need to speak with her urgently......
posted by my cousin who visited naija ...true story...lol
it has come to my notice that there's a missing persons alert has gone out for the location of orobo, orobo who is a seemingly gifted individual seems to have warmed the hearts of mechanics, danfo drivers and okada riders nationwide!
but the sad news is orobo seems to have gone missing over an alarming period of years and has not been located!
yet she remains alive in the hearts of all her fans nationwide, such that they reach out and call her name at random, each hoping they have finally located her...
more alarming is the fact that she must have looked exactly like me!!!
or a couple of other young gifted women nationwide....
if this seems to be the case when you are walking down the street then you know that you must join the nationwide search to avoid this case of mistaken identity...
as i walk down the street past a mechanic shop, two young fellas were staring...one discreetly coughed out the word...orobo while giving me a furtive glance, no im not her, you must be mistaken, i said with a smile....a case of mistaken identity...
as i go to the buspark, where different okada riders were parked i heard the name agan, orobo...i looked back to establish where the name had rung out from but they all looked away, slightly dissapointed im sure that they had not located thier semi godess...
who is orobo, i asked myself, and why on earth does she look like me?
as i tried to board a bus to the market, tejuosho i believe it is called, i heard the conductor go "orobo take am easy o"...i was getting preety frustrated at this point...i am not her! i cried out hoping to reassure him as he looked in my face...but all i got was a bewildered bland stare from him as if i had gone mad!
while in the bus, a young dirty looking man was about to join my seat and he said to me, orobo shift now...but im not her, i protested, i was tired of saying this already,
it looks like this Nigerian people really loved this girl...she must have been a superstar of some sort to be known far and wide by everyone...maybe a movie star even, i mused as my bus made it's way to the market...
when we got to tejuosho, thats another story entirely ill shaRE WITH YOU ANOTHER DAY...
the young men could not stop chanting and reaching for me, orobo come buy from me..they kept on reaching for me and pulling me towards thier stalls, orobo, orobo, orobo, they kept chanting, i decided at this point to keep smiling politely ....a little pretense to be this orobo fella, wont hurt would it?
i declined all thier ofers politely as i bought my african crafts and left the stall.
it was the same heroine worship as i made my way outta the market. orobo, u no go buy? orobo...orobo....it was then i decided to find out who this orobo is...but unfortunately google and alll other search engines weren't any help...
so im reaching out to all Nigerians who read this blog, who is orobo?
where can i find her?
i need to speak with her urgently......
posted by my cousin who visited naija ...true story...lol
Monday, September 29, 2008
moody
- seems everyone is moody so im not just going to add to it.
- had a big dirty fight with my mother this morning which resulted to my hollering my head off a nd feeling mighty ashamed of it right after...
- you know that feeling of IM AN ADULT DON'T YOU DARE TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD MAMA..complete with the swagger, the neck movement and the bulging of veins? yea, did all dat.
- but one thing remains clear, i gotta get my butt out my mama's house preety soon. twenty something odd years of seeing ma preety face and the madam is fed up.
- im fed up too but mostly cos im not a people person and can only carry out the charade in small doses.
- i miss someone real bad and im trying to understand why and analyse what would happen if i were to loose this person i miss and that analysis made me cry for close to an hour this morning.
- then i realise that im just a simpering fool with "plenty water for my eye" and that made me laugh for close to thirty minutes making folks at home think i've gona a little loco.
- i believe i have gone a tad bit more loco than i was before but it's no cause for alarm instead of "offing cloth" ond standing naked on the streets im just becoming more withdrawn and stuff...
- im desperately trying to get a job tho@ im kinda filling my hands with a lot of projects here and there small buisnesses and such but apart from trying to redeem my broke and bleeding state, i need something interesting with a bite that will rouse me from bed in the morning.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Food Glorious Food....KPOOM!
food glorious food
hot sausage and custard
ice cream on the move
cold berries and mustard!
of course ill blog on food..im on a diET!
i miss food, been eating just once a day for a while now, it seems funny that its when im on a diet, i begin to fantasise about food, right now as i type, im thinking of hot steamy pounded yam with stewed vegetables and lots and lots of stockfish, mummy style...
rice with steamy stewed peppers, stockfish and minced meats...hot eba with egusi soup and lotsa lotsa stockfish...i had better stop now before i hurt myself real bad...
been on a sugar diet as well, butt\ strictly cos of my health. so i miss coke. i miss coke..hi, my name is ify, and im a cokeaholic. a recovering cokeaholic. really, shucks.
dont really have nothing to blog about just blogging for the fun of it, havent been here in a while either so im gonna take my chances. had a birhtday pass by, was depressed as hell as usual. got a couple of books out of the deal, my favorite gifts were the sidney sheldon books i got from sanchez and the icarus girl from exschool nerd. thanks guys!
well, my love for food will never end, ulcers and all...
its funny that these would be on the same page but we cant talk about food without mentioning the joys of taking a dump...lol we actually can but id do it all the same...
the past four days ive come to appreciate the joys of taking a dump cos i had a lil case of food poisoning...
i wont mention heaving and throwing up...that part made me really sad but even more embarrassing was having to take a dump nearly 12 times a day!
even when i was trying to control it, it was driving me nuts!
like i was at a friends place recently, you know how there are some friends you are not comfortable using the bathroom in front of, especially if they are guys?
well, i was in a friends place last week, and his friends were there as well, i was meeting them for the 2nd time or so and still trying to make a good impression forming quiet and composed and all that....
and here comes the urge to take a dump...and this aint the usual, comes with a sharp twinge of pain, where your face crumples up and is locked in a grimace.
are you ok? thats me they are asking...im fine..
attack two,my face resembles a troll's now...
are you sure you are okay?
im fine. may i use your bathroom?
bad enough im using your bathroom and you all have to pause the movie we were watching trying to be polite but i dont want you to. no we'll wait for you.
see now they can gauge the amount of time i spend in here while waiting so they can finish thier movie...damn!
so im taking the glorious dump and my tummy starts to misbehave big time!!
the bathroom is right next to the living room and not really sound proof if you know what i mean,
tummy trouble...kpooom! thats me passing gas and trying to keep it quiet...
kpooooooom! wow, why does this stuff happen to only me!!!!!
kpoom kpoom! what the !@#$% is this about? im a good kid,im a lady we dont do this shit!
how am i going to go out and face everybody now?
wait, here's ma cellphone...i know what to do...i start playing kanye west's stronger, the loudest volume i can get...that that that that dont kill me...kpooom
can only make me stronger...kpoom kpoom
i need you to come here now...kpoosh
cos i cant wait much longer....kpo
i need you right now...Jesus that's the only way i coulda covered up,
but they are really good folks, either they didnt hear, or they be very polite folk cos not a word was said...lol
hot sausage and custard
ice cream on the move
cold berries and mustard!
of course ill blog on food..im on a diET!
i miss food, been eating just once a day for a while now, it seems funny that its when im on a diet, i begin to fantasise about food, right now as i type, im thinking of hot steamy pounded yam with stewed vegetables and lots and lots of stockfish, mummy style...
rice with steamy stewed peppers, stockfish and minced meats...hot eba with egusi soup and lotsa lotsa stockfish...i had better stop now before i hurt myself real bad...
been on a sugar diet as well, butt\ strictly cos of my health. so i miss coke. i miss coke..hi, my name is ify, and im a cokeaholic. a recovering cokeaholic. really, shucks.
dont really have nothing to blog about just blogging for the fun of it, havent been here in a while either so im gonna take my chances. had a birhtday pass by, was depressed as hell as usual. got a couple of books out of the deal, my favorite gifts were the sidney sheldon books i got from sanchez and the icarus girl from exschool nerd. thanks guys!
well, my love for food will never end, ulcers and all...
its funny that these would be on the same page but we cant talk about food without mentioning the joys of taking a dump...lol we actually can but id do it all the same...
the past four days ive come to appreciate the joys of taking a dump cos i had a lil case of food poisoning...
i wont mention heaving and throwing up...that part made me really sad but even more embarrassing was having to take a dump nearly 12 times a day!
even when i was trying to control it, it was driving me nuts!
like i was at a friends place recently, you know how there are some friends you are not comfortable using the bathroom in front of, especially if they are guys?
well, i was in a friends place last week, and his friends were there as well, i was meeting them for the 2nd time or so and still trying to make a good impression forming quiet and composed and all that....
and here comes the urge to take a dump...and this aint the usual, comes with a sharp twinge of pain, where your face crumples up and is locked in a grimace.
are you ok? thats me they are asking...im fine..
attack two,my face resembles a troll's now...
are you sure you are okay?
im fine. may i use your bathroom?
bad enough im using your bathroom and you all have to pause the movie we were watching trying to be polite but i dont want you to. no we'll wait for you.
see now they can gauge the amount of time i spend in here while waiting so they can finish thier movie...damn!
so im taking the glorious dump and my tummy starts to misbehave big time!!
the bathroom is right next to the living room and not really sound proof if you know what i mean,
tummy trouble...kpooom! thats me passing gas and trying to keep it quiet...
kpooooooom! wow, why does this stuff happen to only me!!!!!
kpoom kpoom! what the !@#$% is this about? im a good kid,im a lady we dont do this shit!
how am i going to go out and face everybody now?
wait, here's ma cellphone...i know what to do...i start playing kanye west's stronger, the loudest volume i can get...that that that that dont kill me...kpooom
can only make me stronger...kpoom kpoom
i need you to come here now...kpoosh
cos i cant wait much longer....kpo
i need you right now...Jesus that's the only way i coulda covered up,
but they are really good folks, either they didnt hear, or they be very polite folk cos not a word was said...lol
Sunday, July 20, 2008
mirror mirror on the wall...
recently ive been so depressed, im not sure i can blog about anything intelligently...
it seemed to be that way with everyone i knew, everyone was having that type of month, you know the one where you wake up and wish you could roll back into bed and not come out until God made everything better, like realign the stars or something....
life hasn't been generally that bad, had a couple of funny incidents recently, even the fact that stuff were determined to go so wrong most days was begginning to get humorous...
after the chapman incident which exschoolnerd has famously blogged on, you would think life would settle down and stop throwing me in the mix, a couple of weeks ago, i was doing nutty stuff with a friend of mine..leaves a lot to the imagination...i can see tatafo antennas going sky high....
immediately after, while still trying to get myself together...i received an sms which read..
"i wish i could give you a mirror to see yourself"
it was ridiculous cos firstly, we were on the top floor in an enclosed space so if anyone had been a peeping tom, he or she should have been doing the peeping with binoculars or at least a telescope...
mirror mirror on the wall, who's been nutty, yea...we all
im distracted, an old crush just stepped into the room....
anyway, the text turned out to have a continuation which i didnt see...cant do this right...see how im typing boring....gotta go..bye
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