feed and fork....feed and fork...the last words of the deaconess echoed all around the church auditorium as if a taboo had occured in the house of the Lord,in the holy of holies!
a mist cleared from my eyes as i shook my head to clear the mist and the sound echoing deep within my medula...
but she said it to make her point sink in deeply, and trust me, it did, it sank deep, deep in the minds of the astonished young ladies who had just heard the greatly respected deaconess use the word we all prefered to use on the sly and cover our mouths coquettishly in great shock and lower our eyes and wrinkle our noses in great distaste as if we smelled something foul....all na for show!
so that we would seem like good christian girls who didint use the words fork, fork, fork...
anyway, deaconess was mad at us, mad at useless women in general and was pleading with us not to be women of no ambition, women who went,
my dia, i need to buy payint"
so she was urging us to be women of virtue and women who would be busy with thier hands and bring something to the table when we met the man who would tempt us enough to loose our minds and say the words that chain you to them forever? that kain thing..
so she said to make her point sink, i dont want any one of you to end up like those women all a man has to do to keep them is feed and fork...
so i urge you girls just like my deaconess shocked me to death making her point...
dont let them reduce you to FEED AND FORK!!!!!!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
missing persons alert
where is orobo?
it has come to my notice that there's a missing persons alert has gone out for the location of orobo, orobo who is a seemingly gifted individual seems to have warmed the hearts of mechanics, danfo drivers and okada riders nationwide!
but the sad news is orobo seems to have gone missing over an alarming period of years and has not been located!
yet she remains alive in the hearts of all her fans nationwide, such that they reach out and call her name at random, each hoping they have finally located her...
more alarming is the fact that she must have looked exactly like me!!!
or a couple of other young gifted women nationwide....
if this seems to be the case when you are walking down the street then you know that you must join the nationwide search to avoid this case of mistaken identity...
as i walk down the street past a mechanic shop, two young fellas were staring...one discreetly coughed out the word...orobo while giving me a furtive glance, no im not her, you must be mistaken, i said with a smile....a case of mistaken identity...
as i go to the buspark, where different okada riders were parked i heard the name agan, orobo...i looked back to establish where the name had rung out from but they all looked away, slightly dissapointed im sure that they had not located thier semi godess...
who is orobo, i asked myself, and why on earth does she look like me?
as i tried to board a bus to the market, tejuosho i believe it is called, i heard the conductor go "orobo take am easy o"...i was getting preety frustrated at this point...i am not her! i cried out hoping to reassure him as he looked in my face...but all i got was a bewildered bland stare from him as if i had gone mad!
while in the bus, a young dirty looking man was about to join my seat and he said to me, orobo shift now...but im not her, i protested, i was tired of saying this already,
it looks like this Nigerian people really loved this girl...she must have been a superstar of some sort to be known far and wide by everyone...maybe a movie star even, i mused as my bus made it's way to the market...
when we got to tejuosho, thats another story entirely ill shaRE WITH YOU ANOTHER DAY...
the young men could not stop chanting and reaching for me, orobo come buy from me..they kept on reaching for me and pulling me towards thier stalls, orobo, orobo, orobo, they kept chanting, i decided at this point to keep smiling politely ....a little pretense to be this orobo fella, wont hurt would it?
i declined all thier ofers politely as i bought my african crafts and left the stall.
it was the same heroine worship as i made my way outta the market. orobo, u no go buy? orobo...orobo....it was then i decided to find out who this orobo is...but unfortunately google and alll other search engines weren't any help...
so im reaching out to all Nigerians who read this blog, who is orobo?
where can i find her?
i need to speak with her urgently......
posted by my cousin who visited naija ...true story...lol
it has come to my notice that there's a missing persons alert has gone out for the location of orobo, orobo who is a seemingly gifted individual seems to have warmed the hearts of mechanics, danfo drivers and okada riders nationwide!
but the sad news is orobo seems to have gone missing over an alarming period of years and has not been located!
yet she remains alive in the hearts of all her fans nationwide, such that they reach out and call her name at random, each hoping they have finally located her...
more alarming is the fact that she must have looked exactly like me!!!
or a couple of other young gifted women nationwide....
if this seems to be the case when you are walking down the street then you know that you must join the nationwide search to avoid this case of mistaken identity...
as i walk down the street past a mechanic shop, two young fellas were staring...one discreetly coughed out the word...orobo while giving me a furtive glance, no im not her, you must be mistaken, i said with a smile....a case of mistaken identity...
as i go to the buspark, where different okada riders were parked i heard the name agan, orobo...i looked back to establish where the name had rung out from but they all looked away, slightly dissapointed im sure that they had not located thier semi godess...
who is orobo, i asked myself, and why on earth does she look like me?
as i tried to board a bus to the market, tejuosho i believe it is called, i heard the conductor go "orobo take am easy o"...i was getting preety frustrated at this point...i am not her! i cried out hoping to reassure him as he looked in my face...but all i got was a bewildered bland stare from him as if i had gone mad!
while in the bus, a young dirty looking man was about to join my seat and he said to me, orobo shift now...but im not her, i protested, i was tired of saying this already,
it looks like this Nigerian people really loved this girl...she must have been a superstar of some sort to be known far and wide by everyone...maybe a movie star even, i mused as my bus made it's way to the market...
when we got to tejuosho, thats another story entirely ill shaRE WITH YOU ANOTHER DAY...
the young men could not stop chanting and reaching for me, orobo come buy from me..they kept on reaching for me and pulling me towards thier stalls, orobo, orobo, orobo, they kept chanting, i decided at this point to keep smiling politely ....a little pretense to be this orobo fella, wont hurt would it?
i declined all thier ofers politely as i bought my african crafts and left the stall.
it was the same heroine worship as i made my way outta the market. orobo, u no go buy? orobo...orobo....it was then i decided to find out who this orobo is...but unfortunately google and alll other search engines weren't any help...
so im reaching out to all Nigerians who read this blog, who is orobo?
where can i find her?
i need to speak with her urgently......
posted by my cousin who visited naija ...true story...lol
Monday, September 29, 2008
moody
- seems everyone is moody so im not just going to add to it.
- had a big dirty fight with my mother this morning which resulted to my hollering my head off a nd feeling mighty ashamed of it right after...
- you know that feeling of IM AN ADULT DON'T YOU DARE TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD MAMA..complete with the swagger, the neck movement and the bulging of veins? yea, did all dat.
- but one thing remains clear, i gotta get my butt out my mama's house preety soon. twenty something odd years of seeing ma preety face and the madam is fed up.
- im fed up too but mostly cos im not a people person and can only carry out the charade in small doses.
- i miss someone real bad and im trying to understand why and analyse what would happen if i were to loose this person i miss and that analysis made me cry for close to an hour this morning.
- then i realise that im just a simpering fool with "plenty water for my eye" and that made me laugh for close to thirty minutes making folks at home think i've gona a little loco.
- i believe i have gone a tad bit more loco than i was before but it's no cause for alarm instead of "offing cloth" ond standing naked on the streets im just becoming more withdrawn and stuff...
- im desperately trying to get a job tho@ im kinda filling my hands with a lot of projects here and there small buisnesses and such but apart from trying to redeem my broke and bleeding state, i need something interesting with a bite that will rouse me from bed in the morning.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Food Glorious Food....KPOOM!
food glorious food
hot sausage and custard
ice cream on the move
cold berries and mustard!
of course ill blog on food..im on a diET!
i miss food, been eating just once a day for a while now, it seems funny that its when im on a diet, i begin to fantasise about food, right now as i type, im thinking of hot steamy pounded yam with stewed vegetables and lots and lots of stockfish, mummy style...
rice with steamy stewed peppers, stockfish and minced meats...hot eba with egusi soup and lotsa lotsa stockfish...i had better stop now before i hurt myself real bad...
been on a sugar diet as well, butt\ strictly cos of my health. so i miss coke. i miss coke..hi, my name is ify, and im a cokeaholic. a recovering cokeaholic. really, shucks.
dont really have nothing to blog about just blogging for the fun of it, havent been here in a while either so im gonna take my chances. had a birhtday pass by, was depressed as hell as usual. got a couple of books out of the deal, my favorite gifts were the sidney sheldon books i got from sanchez and the icarus girl from exschool nerd. thanks guys!
well, my love for food will never end, ulcers and all...
its funny that these would be on the same page but we cant talk about food without mentioning the joys of taking a dump...lol we actually can but id do it all the same...
the past four days ive come to appreciate the joys of taking a dump cos i had a lil case of food poisoning...
i wont mention heaving and throwing up...that part made me really sad but even more embarrassing was having to take a dump nearly 12 times a day!
even when i was trying to control it, it was driving me nuts!
like i was at a friends place recently, you know how there are some friends you are not comfortable using the bathroom in front of, especially if they are guys?
well, i was in a friends place last week, and his friends were there as well, i was meeting them for the 2nd time or so and still trying to make a good impression forming quiet and composed and all that....
and here comes the urge to take a dump...and this aint the usual, comes with a sharp twinge of pain, where your face crumples up and is locked in a grimace.
are you ok? thats me they are asking...im fine..
attack two,my face resembles a troll's now...
are you sure you are okay?
im fine. may i use your bathroom?
bad enough im using your bathroom and you all have to pause the movie we were watching trying to be polite but i dont want you to. no we'll wait for you.
see now they can gauge the amount of time i spend in here while waiting so they can finish thier movie...damn!
so im taking the glorious dump and my tummy starts to misbehave big time!!
the bathroom is right next to the living room and not really sound proof if you know what i mean,
tummy trouble...kpooom! thats me passing gas and trying to keep it quiet...
kpooooooom! wow, why does this stuff happen to only me!!!!!
kpoom kpoom! what the !@#$% is this about? im a good kid,im a lady we dont do this shit!
how am i going to go out and face everybody now?
wait, here's ma cellphone...i know what to do...i start playing kanye west's stronger, the loudest volume i can get...that that that that dont kill me...kpooom
can only make me stronger...kpoom kpoom
i need you to come here now...kpoosh
cos i cant wait much longer....kpo
i need you right now...Jesus that's the only way i coulda covered up,
but they are really good folks, either they didnt hear, or they be very polite folk cos not a word was said...lol
hot sausage and custard
ice cream on the move
cold berries and mustard!
of course ill blog on food..im on a diET!
i miss food, been eating just once a day for a while now, it seems funny that its when im on a diet, i begin to fantasise about food, right now as i type, im thinking of hot steamy pounded yam with stewed vegetables and lots and lots of stockfish, mummy style...
rice with steamy stewed peppers, stockfish and minced meats...hot eba with egusi soup and lotsa lotsa stockfish...i had better stop now before i hurt myself real bad...
been on a sugar diet as well, butt\ strictly cos of my health. so i miss coke. i miss coke..hi, my name is ify, and im a cokeaholic. a recovering cokeaholic. really, shucks.
dont really have nothing to blog about just blogging for the fun of it, havent been here in a while either so im gonna take my chances. had a birhtday pass by, was depressed as hell as usual. got a couple of books out of the deal, my favorite gifts were the sidney sheldon books i got from sanchez and the icarus girl from exschool nerd. thanks guys!
well, my love for food will never end, ulcers and all...
its funny that these would be on the same page but we cant talk about food without mentioning the joys of taking a dump...lol we actually can but id do it all the same...
the past four days ive come to appreciate the joys of taking a dump cos i had a lil case of food poisoning...
i wont mention heaving and throwing up...that part made me really sad but even more embarrassing was having to take a dump nearly 12 times a day!
even when i was trying to control it, it was driving me nuts!
like i was at a friends place recently, you know how there are some friends you are not comfortable using the bathroom in front of, especially if they are guys?
well, i was in a friends place last week, and his friends were there as well, i was meeting them for the 2nd time or so and still trying to make a good impression forming quiet and composed and all that....
and here comes the urge to take a dump...and this aint the usual, comes with a sharp twinge of pain, where your face crumples up and is locked in a grimace.
are you ok? thats me they are asking...im fine..
attack two,my face resembles a troll's now...
are you sure you are okay?
im fine. may i use your bathroom?
bad enough im using your bathroom and you all have to pause the movie we were watching trying to be polite but i dont want you to. no we'll wait for you.
see now they can gauge the amount of time i spend in here while waiting so they can finish thier movie...damn!
so im taking the glorious dump and my tummy starts to misbehave big time!!
the bathroom is right next to the living room and not really sound proof if you know what i mean,
tummy trouble...kpooom! thats me passing gas and trying to keep it quiet...
kpooooooom! wow, why does this stuff happen to only me!!!!!
kpoom kpoom! what the !@#$% is this about? im a good kid,im a lady we dont do this shit!
how am i going to go out and face everybody now?
wait, here's ma cellphone...i know what to do...i start playing kanye west's stronger, the loudest volume i can get...that that that that dont kill me...kpooom
can only make me stronger...kpoom kpoom
i need you to come here now...kpoosh
cos i cant wait much longer....kpo
i need you right now...Jesus that's the only way i coulda covered up,
but they are really good folks, either they didnt hear, or they be very polite folk cos not a word was said...lol
Sunday, July 20, 2008
mirror mirror on the wall...
recently ive been so depressed, im not sure i can blog about anything intelligently...
it seemed to be that way with everyone i knew, everyone was having that type of month, you know the one where you wake up and wish you could roll back into bed and not come out until God made everything better, like realign the stars or something....
life hasn't been generally that bad, had a couple of funny incidents recently, even the fact that stuff were determined to go so wrong most days was begginning to get humorous...
after the chapman incident which exschoolnerd has famously blogged on, you would think life would settle down and stop throwing me in the mix, a couple of weeks ago, i was doing nutty stuff with a friend of mine..leaves a lot to the imagination...i can see tatafo antennas going sky high....
immediately after, while still trying to get myself together...i received an sms which read..
"i wish i could give you a mirror to see yourself"
it was ridiculous cos firstly, we were on the top floor in an enclosed space so if anyone had been a peeping tom, he or she should have been doing the peeping with binoculars or at least a telescope...
mirror mirror on the wall, who's been nutty, yea...we all
im distracted, an old crush just stepped into the room....
anyway, the text turned out to have a continuation which i didnt see...cant do this right...see how im typing boring....gotta go..bye
Friday, June 20, 2008
Live for the moment...
The trouble with love is
the way it wraps you around it's finger
and then shakes you off
as if your grip had grown too tight
but then again sometimes it doesn't
you just never know
Sometimes it engulfs you and sweeps you up in it's tide
carrying you away to the land of no returning
No returning to your right mind
to who you were before you met him
The trouble with love is
one way or another you can never return
to who you were before
onje way or another
loving or loosingyou are never the same
and there are no warnings,
no premonitions, no set of instructions
that help you put two hearts together
and keep them beating to the same rhythm
singing the same song in harmony
without the notes turning sour
or the song ending in tears
the trouble with love is we all want it, need it,
are scared to death of it, couldn't possibly live without it,
run away from it, all the while pursuing it,
The trouble with loving is,
It leaves you weak,vulnerable
Open to hurt,untrusting,
Then again sometimes it doesn't
You just never know
Sometimes it builkds you, makes you stronger,
Keeps you soaring, far above your fears,
Above everyone and everything
They cease to exist, fade to black
The trouble with loving is
One way or the other you take a risk,
Changing who you were before
To a lover or a looser
You don't remain the same
No neon signs to potray your status
No rules, No regulations,
Just fall into a chasm of emotion,
Leaping into a void expecting to be caught
Caught and lowered into his arms
To dance to the rhythm of loving him
Whether or not, the sound of the rhythm trails away
You have relished the moments,
The trouble with loving is, experiencing it, basking in it
The good times, the mad times, the times of bitterness,
The times of pure utter joy
We all want it, Want to feel cherished by it
Feel it, Hate it, Love it,
Cant do without it..........
The trouble with loving?
It comes to you; it will come to you.....
Just wait...
the way it wraps you around it's finger
and then shakes you off
as if your grip had grown too tight
but then again sometimes it doesn't
you just never know
Sometimes it engulfs you and sweeps you up in it's tide
carrying you away to the land of no returning
No returning to your right mind
to who you were before you met him
The trouble with love is
one way or another you can never return
to who you were before
onje way or another
loving or loosingyou are never the same
and there are no warnings,
no premonitions, no set of instructions
that help you put two hearts together
and keep them beating to the same rhythm
singing the same song in harmony
without the notes turning sour
or the song ending in tears
the trouble with love is we all want it, need it,
are scared to death of it, couldn't possibly live without it,
run away from it, all the while pursuing it,
The trouble with loving is,
It leaves you weak,vulnerable
Open to hurt,untrusting,
Then again sometimes it doesn't
You just never know
Sometimes it builkds you, makes you stronger,
Keeps you soaring, far above your fears,
Above everyone and everything
They cease to exist, fade to black
The trouble with loving is
One way or the other you take a risk,
Changing who you were before
To a lover or a looser
You don't remain the same
No neon signs to potray your status
No rules, No regulations,
Just fall into a chasm of emotion,
Leaping into a void expecting to be caught
Caught and lowered into his arms
To dance to the rhythm of loving him
Whether or not, the sound of the rhythm trails away
You have relished the moments,
The trouble with loving is, experiencing it, basking in it
The good times, the mad times, the times of bitterness,
The times of pure utter joy
We all want it, Want to feel cherished by it
Feel it, Hate it, Love it,
Cant do without it..........
The trouble with loving?
It comes to you; it will come to you.....
Just wait...
Thursday, June 5, 2008
huh?
there are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that i do not understand
the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a maiden...
proverbs 30:18
Amen! i do agree, i won't try to understand everything else, the way of an eagle is for the philosophical, the way of a snake? maybe for those involved with biology...
the way of a ship? thats way too naval for me and ain't none of ma buisness,
but the way of a dude with a chick?
who understands it?
do ya?
even wise King Solomon in all his wisdom couldn't explain it, so who is lil ol me?
who am i to try?
four that i do not understand
the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a maiden...
proverbs 30:18
Amen! i do agree, i won't try to understand everything else, the way of an eagle is for the philosophical, the way of a snake? maybe for those involved with biology...
the way of a ship? thats way too naval for me and ain't none of ma buisness,
but the way of a dude with a chick?
who understands it?
do ya?
even wise King Solomon in all his wisdom couldn't explain it, so who is lil ol me?
who am i to try?
Thursday, May 15, 2008
tagged?
okay, so i got tagged....
i was tagged by EXSCHOOLNERD
we all kow the rules.
link the dude, fella or chick that did the deed.
mention the rules...
6 quirks about yourself
tag 6 others
and
leave a comment on those you tagg.
quirks...
hmm,
1.) im way too wierd, for instance i talk to myself...actively...i hold interesting conversations with myself out loud...i hold conversations with inanimate objects as wellmust have started while i was young, didnt speak to anyone at home except dad and he was hardly ever around so had to amuse myself with teddy bears and dolls...gotten me in trouble way too many times to count...i like to eat wierd too, food doesn't interest me until it looks wierd...or its junk food,id kill for junk food...
2) i have always been a loner, i amuse myself alot, read books.watch movies, hold three hour dance sessions with me, me, meeee!
sometimes i think i can't stand people, even though i am awfully nice, i still have issues with people, it's not being snobbish, i just have lil tolerance for low intelligence, fussy females, puffed up males...the list is loooong, very few people manage to sneak into my life....that should make my friends smile...y'all are so worthy...lol
3..i cry at the drop of a hat, it's not hard for me at all...im very weepy, movies, good or bad, even though i just criticised the acting, all i need is to see somene do something i consider niiice and i go all weepy and shit, it's embarasssssing!!!
4...i hate being in love, it makes me feel weak and stupid and vulnerable....so i try my best not to fall in love with anyone...kinda like my loner rule, it's safer that way, but if i do fall in love with you, then you must be some special kinda dude
5....i hate rats and roaches, it's like God put them to earth to scare me to death...i sighted my first rat ever 8 years ago, ill never forget...i still need to tell that story, unbelievable but true....flying and crawling roaches give me the jeebies...id see one of my dreaded r's and all hell must be let loose id apologise for acting completely stupid later...im a very calm girl, not a hair outta place but let me near a rat and you'll see i aint that calm after all...lol
6...hmmm, the sixth will have to be that im terribly in question about my sexuality, i dont think im a lesbian, just intrigued about the prospects...cat got killed by curiosity, i hear...sharrrap!
so i hereby tagg ONE IBO DUDE, CATWALQ AND SANCHEZ...lol
see as i stupidly tagg peeps den don tagg already...
so i hereby change it to OLUWADEE, FINEBOY and i maintain SANCHEZ until he answers exschoolnerd...
i was tagged by EXSCHOOLNERD
we all kow the rules.
link the dude, fella or chick that did the deed.
mention the rules...
6 quirks about yourself
tag 6 others
and
leave a comment on those you tagg.
quirks...
hmm,
1.) im way too wierd, for instance i talk to myself...actively...i hold interesting conversations with myself out loud...i hold conversations with inanimate objects as wellmust have started while i was young, didnt speak to anyone at home except dad and he was hardly ever around so had to amuse myself with teddy bears and dolls...gotten me in trouble way too many times to count...i like to eat wierd too, food doesn't interest me until it looks wierd...or its junk food,id kill for junk food...
2) i have always been a loner, i amuse myself alot, read books.watch movies, hold three hour dance sessions with me, me, meeee!
sometimes i think i can't stand people, even though i am awfully nice, i still have issues with people, it's not being snobbish, i just have lil tolerance for low intelligence, fussy females, puffed up males...the list is loooong, very few people manage to sneak into my life....that should make my friends smile...y'all are so worthy...lol
3..i cry at the drop of a hat, it's not hard for me at all...im very weepy, movies, good or bad, even though i just criticised the acting, all i need is to see somene do something i consider niiice and i go all weepy and shit, it's embarasssssing!!!
4...i hate being in love, it makes me feel weak and stupid and vulnerable....so i try my best not to fall in love with anyone...kinda like my loner rule, it's safer that way, but if i do fall in love with you, then you must be some special kinda dude
5....i hate rats and roaches, it's like God put them to earth to scare me to death...i sighted my first rat ever 8 years ago, ill never forget...i still need to tell that story, unbelievable but true....flying and crawling roaches give me the jeebies...id see one of my dreaded r's and all hell must be let loose id apologise for acting completely stupid later...im a very calm girl, not a hair outta place but let me near a rat and you'll see i aint that calm after all...lol
6...hmmm, the sixth will have to be that im terribly in question about my sexuality, i dont think im a lesbian, just intrigued about the prospects...cat got killed by curiosity, i hear...sharrrap!
so i hereby tagg ONE IBO DUDE, CATWALQ AND SANCHEZ...lol
see as i stupidly tagg peeps den don tagg already...
so i hereby change it to OLUWADEE, FINEBOY and i maintain SANCHEZ until he answers exschoolnerd...
Friday, April 4, 2008
Oh well....sigh...xx
| in the past 97 days I've grown I have cried I thought I died I've been really happy I've been really sad I've been depressed I prayed for death I prayed like hell I rejoiced as well I made a wish Still waiting... I've lost at love I've gained a friend I lost my inner war I'll stay till the end I've learnt to endure I pray for so much more I've been confused I've been conflicted I've been rejected I have rejected I've been dejected I've been fulfilled I've shown strong will I've been stubborn I've provided I've been provided for I have worked I have rocked I've been fly I've felt that way I've been sly To get my way I've been wily I've been soft I have loved I've been loved I've been jealous I've been angry I've experienced real emotion I've experienced real joy I died in your arms I found heaven I grew up I have faced responsibility I lost at success I learned it's worth I mapped a future I shuddered at growth I've laughed in the face of failure I wallowed in self pity I've worried about you I've wondered if it was true I've been broke I've been rich I prayed he will ask I discovered he wasn't ready I got new openings I discovered myself I've learnt new stuff I've dreamt of wealth I've been up to a lot the past 97 days... What have you been up to? |
Thursday, March 20, 2008
the beggining of the end of the beggining!!!!
i know what that means it dont matter if you dont, ha! it might be like an online diary but i can hog some details....
today has been okey dokey...anoda day, front office wahala...old men requesting my number, young men requesting my number, one offer to move to abuja...don't know what that one is about...this is not a very good time to be at the front office of my company....you see, there is a state of emergency right now as a company whom we are registrars for is returning money offered to them for thier last public offer...so poor me sheep, thrown to wolves has to handle a lot of angry peeps every day, sometimes i have to caution myself and try not to go mad at people when they act like its in my private accout i lodged thier money in....
imagine a typical scenario of how my day starts, i get to the office before 8, had to learn to fly okada everyday, i get to work and phones are blaring...we all look at each other in chagrin and go return money... its a fight for the unfortunate person that's near the phone to calm the frustrated share holder...
i have had scenarios of i no go leave here today until you pay me my money!
young lady where is my money?????
see me go uh uh em huh huh...
today was good though, im not as tired as i usually am, maybe cos im lookin forward to tommorow and the remaining four days i wont come to work even den wan force me...i have taken all the spitting i can take for my company in the past couple of weeks, i have kept a smile in funny situations, kept a straight face when things where downright funny, dealt with different kinds of smells, did i mention spittle?
anyway, gotta go now, there's this guy looking over my shoulder...if i spend anymore time on this system, he'll be biting me....
before i leave, i need to update on the disaster that took place at work today, we girls dubbed it the pants mysteries....
first....someone bent down this morning and split her pants, unfortunately she had on a string covering har very voluminous assets so i dont need to inform you on how dat turned out....
then the zipper on my pants gave up while attending to a share holder so ive been sagging corporate trouser pants all day...thank God, e never fall, his mercy endures forever...
girlie's red robots showed up early so her pants got a mass of red thingies which of course is height of embarassment seeing she's still trying to fit in and all that, we are on the look out for the next unfortunate person that will be thought a lesson about survival of the working girls....
everything comes handy...razor blades, staple pins, a lil soap in your bag, nails, a hammer if possible, you never kno' wat could happen, so guys if you see us with enourmous bags...not too worry, we have taken this course in survival, we need our kit...
gotta go my guy is cracking his knuckles, it might be my head, his fist.....ciao!!!
today has been okey dokey...anoda day, front office wahala...old men requesting my number, young men requesting my number, one offer to move to abuja...don't know what that one is about...this is not a very good time to be at the front office of my company....you see, there is a state of emergency right now as a company whom we are registrars for is returning money offered to them for thier last public offer...so poor me sheep, thrown to wolves has to handle a lot of angry peeps every day, sometimes i have to caution myself and try not to go mad at people when they act like its in my private accout i lodged thier money in....
imagine a typical scenario of how my day starts, i get to the office before 8, had to learn to fly okada everyday, i get to work and phones are blaring...we all look at each other in chagrin and go return money... its a fight for the unfortunate person that's near the phone to calm the frustrated share holder...
i have had scenarios of i no go leave here today until you pay me my money!
young lady where is my money?????
see me go uh uh em huh huh...
today was good though, im not as tired as i usually am, maybe cos im lookin forward to tommorow and the remaining four days i wont come to work even den wan force me...i have taken all the spitting i can take for my company in the past couple of weeks, i have kept a smile in funny situations, kept a straight face when things where downright funny, dealt with different kinds of smells, did i mention spittle?
anyway, gotta go now, there's this guy looking over my shoulder...if i spend anymore time on this system, he'll be biting me....
before i leave, i need to update on the disaster that took place at work today, we girls dubbed it the pants mysteries....
first....someone bent down this morning and split her pants, unfortunately she had on a string covering har very voluminous assets so i dont need to inform you on how dat turned out....
then the zipper on my pants gave up while attending to a share holder so ive been sagging corporate trouser pants all day...thank God, e never fall, his mercy endures forever...
girlie's red robots showed up early so her pants got a mass of red thingies which of course is height of embarassment seeing she's still trying to fit in and all that, we are on the look out for the next unfortunate person that will be thought a lesson about survival of the working girls....
everything comes handy...razor blades, staple pins, a lil soap in your bag, nails, a hammer if possible, you never kno' wat could happen, so guys if you see us with enourmous bags...not too worry, we have taken this course in survival, we need our kit...
gotta go my guy is cracking his knuckles, it might be my head, his fist.....ciao!!!
Monday, March 10, 2008
hmmm
have you ever checked? did you know that there are over 2,600 bloggers in lagos alone? and over 5000 bloggers with roots from naija..im still amazed...hmmmm
naija people are deep thinkers? or we all like to write? or is it we all need a medium to express ourselves...i got a quote yesterday, let me put it up...
Times are bad, children no longer obey thier parents and everyone is writing a book...
Marcus Tullius Cicero a statesman, orator and writer....
true or false? wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
naija people are deep thinkers? or we all like to write? or is it we all need a medium to express ourselves...i got a quote yesterday, let me put it up...
Times are bad, children no longer obey thier parents and everyone is writing a book...
Marcus Tullius Cicero a statesman, orator and writer....
true or false? wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Friday, March 7, 2008
a diet?
im thinking, now ive been warned millions of times that i mention my weight a bit too much to say im comfortable with it...
really, im not to crazy about being slim but im not too crazy about looking like some mountain either, its every girls pet project to say they are watching thier weight, i think it has a way of making us feel responsible for something...i dunno
anywaay, for me,it seem when i want to watch my weight, i watch it grooooooooooooow...lol
but when i pay it no attention?
a ha! that's when the compliments flood in, oooo girl u look good, u r loosing weight, gush, gush, the blah,the blah, the blah,
faaaaaaaaaabulous.......
i've been on a kind of diet recently...lol....not true of course, consumed about 24 borttles of coke last week...im an absolute cokeaholic...not the kind u snort o...abeg i no dey that kain toory...i just love coke, its my aphrodisiac, my high, my low, i get sad, its coke, im really happy, its coke, wanna celebrate something?
right on the money, its coke again...large, medium, small,bottle,pet,can....GIVE IT TO MEEEEEE!!!
ok, im done with the coke ads for now...omo oni je ku ke osi...lol
i really hate it when people mention my weight,i feel like i weigh a feather...c,mon, i move better than the rest of em!
i dont feel fat...i even find it funny when peeps talk about my weight..like at work, i take a lot of tea and coffee...so last week i got tired of it, variety is said to be spicy, right?
so i asked for chocolatey M I L O and started my milo diet with lots of creamy mik on monday, guess id been annoying folks for a while drinking milo while they took boring ol tea..someone had to complain....
so sippin ma chocolate, minding no one's bizness, was shocked to find vera cruz had been minding mine...digressing, doesn't a name like vera cruz, make you think of a mexican hunk of some sort or at least lets manage a nigerian one,
neways vera cruz comes all up in ma face with a disgusted no wonder you are fat, see what u r consuming! ul just be bigging, bigging everywhere...lol
was so amused i had to burst out laughing...with all the tea in ma mouth...hanging and splashing...served him right,drenched him thru and thru...hope he got chocolate in his brain...it was wickid...laughed like id die laughing,the thing was that proved my theory about eating in public, people think stuff in thier mind even though they might not say it, everytime they see a big "watch the quote", person eating in public...
for crying out loud it was just tea...cos its chocolate tea and i weigh 85kg dont mean its a crime, cmon give a girl a break......
i need to eat a pizza in front of the guy, just that i nibble on food so that wont put him off, maybe just once, ill put on a show for his benefit....eat like he expects a big,watch the quote, person should...
he's just a closeminded lil boy....lol,ill probably confirm that hidden experiment he"s been carrying out on fat peeps since his childhood....come over here i wanna feel a questionnaire boy...feel ma anger, tsheeew...
said ill talk about ma date abi?
almost didn't...
see me see trouble o, trying to reduce the list of guys that think they have the hots for me....a good name for a show, think yu have the hots for fifi? in the same line as you think you can dance and america's got talent....with the amount of applicants now, we'll be sold out in the first inning...
neway, was trying to convince this guy he didnt know me enuf to have the hots for me right?
so i agreed to date him, noooooooooooooooooo, that sounds so wrong, agree to go out on a date with him once for him to figure it out...i see some of you smart ones shaking your head, y una no tell me before i go?
shut up ther! u no talk nothing!
so ill just say i achieved nothing, spent the whole evening not there...he didnt even notice, i did everything but listen to him, he still didnt get to know me and whats the worst part....he still thinks he has the hots for me!!
i tire, maybe id do it again to wreck his life, i dunno...like just ma luck...spill water on him, upset the waitress, fall down the escalator, i need to do something to make him forget i exist...
any ideas people?
gotta go now, got drama rehearsals
ciao....xxx
really, im not to crazy about being slim but im not too crazy about looking like some mountain either, its every girls pet project to say they are watching thier weight, i think it has a way of making us feel responsible for something...i dunno
anywaay, for me,it seem when i want to watch my weight, i watch it grooooooooooooow...lol
but when i pay it no attention?
a ha! that's when the compliments flood in, oooo girl u look good, u r loosing weight, gush, gush, the blah,the blah, the blah,
faaaaaaaaaabulous.......
i've been on a kind of diet recently...lol....not true of course, consumed about 24 borttles of coke last week...im an absolute cokeaholic...not the kind u snort o...abeg i no dey that kain toory...i just love coke, its my aphrodisiac, my high, my low, i get sad, its coke, im really happy, its coke, wanna celebrate something?
right on the money, its coke again...large, medium, small,bottle,pet,can....GIVE IT TO MEEEEEE!!!
ok, im done with the coke ads for now...omo oni je ku ke osi...lol
i really hate it when people mention my weight,i feel like i weigh a feather...c,mon, i move better than the rest of em!
i dont feel fat...i even find it funny when peeps talk about my weight..like at work, i take a lot of tea and coffee...so last week i got tired of it, variety is said to be spicy, right?
so i asked for chocolatey M I L O and started my milo diet with lots of creamy mik on monday, guess id been annoying folks for a while drinking milo while they took boring ol tea..someone had to complain....
so sippin ma chocolate, minding no one's bizness, was shocked to find vera cruz had been minding mine...digressing, doesn't a name like vera cruz, make you think of a mexican hunk of some sort or at least lets manage a nigerian one,
neways vera cruz comes all up in ma face with a disgusted no wonder you are fat, see what u r consuming! ul just be bigging, bigging everywhere...lol
was so amused i had to burst out laughing...with all the tea in ma mouth...hanging and splashing...served him right,drenched him thru and thru...hope he got chocolate in his brain...it was wickid...laughed like id die laughing,the thing was that proved my theory about eating in public, people think stuff in thier mind even though they might not say it, everytime they see a big "watch the quote", person eating in public...
for crying out loud it was just tea...cos its chocolate tea and i weigh 85kg dont mean its a crime, cmon give a girl a break......
i need to eat a pizza in front of the guy, just that i nibble on food so that wont put him off, maybe just once, ill put on a show for his benefit....eat like he expects a big,watch the quote, person should...
he's just a closeminded lil boy....lol,ill probably confirm that hidden experiment he"s been carrying out on fat peeps since his childhood....come over here i wanna feel a questionnaire boy...feel ma anger, tsheeew...
said ill talk about ma date abi?
almost didn't...
see me see trouble o, trying to reduce the list of guys that think they have the hots for me....a good name for a show, think yu have the hots for fifi? in the same line as you think you can dance and america's got talent....with the amount of applicants now, we'll be sold out in the first inning...
neway, was trying to convince this guy he didnt know me enuf to have the hots for me right?
so i agreed to date him, noooooooooooooooooo, that sounds so wrong, agree to go out on a date with him once for him to figure it out...i see some of you smart ones shaking your head, y una no tell me before i go?
shut up ther! u no talk nothing!
so ill just say i achieved nothing, spent the whole evening not there...he didnt even notice, i did everything but listen to him, he still didnt get to know me and whats the worst part....he still thinks he has the hots for me!!
i tire, maybe id do it again to wreck his life, i dunno...like just ma luck...spill water on him, upset the waitress, fall down the escalator, i need to do something to make him forget i exist...
any ideas people?
gotta go now, got drama rehearsals
ciao....xxx
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
tadaa!
today, i wore good shoes, today i have a hot date with a killer wheeler money dealer hunky punky young successful guy...lol
not dat thats a big deal just wanted to describe him like dat for no reason at all....hunk alert on, but has he got a brain? tune in tommorow...for more details...lol
ok, today i also realised i dont like guys that much, there is none of them that actually does completely trip me,
i can do the dates, like the date i have tonight...hmmm
i can do hanging out, but where's the guy who will be with me and only me?
he seems to exist only in my girlish fantasies, u know those ones where you are cinderella,snow white and rapunzel all wrapped in one?
i wish....
well, alls well that ends well and the rest of that fairytale hogwash...lol
im on an emotional trip like im high or sumthing
sometimes im all chirpy and nutty like i was just checking out some ones ass for crying out loud, who does dat?
and sometimes i feel like crying then the inner me i dunno, me myself or i goes brace up girlfriend, r u ok?
i never cry...lol, i see some of my friends going yeah right...lol but thats y u r ma friend, i can cry in front of you....
anyway, thru with ma ugly shoe revolt, tryin to revolt against front office now...wearing just shirts to work, looking more sexy than usual so i dont get put there just in case customers think looking down ma bust line is far more preety than revalidating thier dividend warrants...lol
and there's that date im trying not to talk about....i thinkl i need a hook up badly abi, what do u think?
and today i sent a proposal in trying to loose ma absolutely boringly normal life and stood on one leg, did the deed and now im getting favourable responses so ill soon have to cumpulsorily go for parties and book launches...good ones, women stuff, youth stuff, comedy raves and movie releases...look at me sounding like i live in hollywood carlifornia...lol
i mean Ali Baba's shows, AY's shows, night of a thousand laffs, meet Betty Irabor,Funmi Iyanda and those nigerian females we think are all dat, trying to make ma life fun....it will be fun, i promise myself, i wont moon over maself nemore,
im hot!
like a co worker said and i quote im sweet,charming,cool,calming,soothing,sexy and absolutely cute!
catch y'all later
ciao
xxxxx
not dat thats a big deal just wanted to describe him like dat for no reason at all....hunk alert on, but has he got a brain? tune in tommorow...for more details...lol
ok, today i also realised i dont like guys that much, there is none of them that actually does completely trip me,
i can do the dates, like the date i have tonight...hmmm
i can do hanging out, but where's the guy who will be with me and only me?
he seems to exist only in my girlish fantasies, u know those ones where you are cinderella,snow white and rapunzel all wrapped in one?
i wish....
well, alls well that ends well and the rest of that fairytale hogwash...lol
im on an emotional trip like im high or sumthing
sometimes im all chirpy and nutty like i was just checking out some ones ass for crying out loud, who does dat?
and sometimes i feel like crying then the inner me i dunno, me myself or i goes brace up girlfriend, r u ok?
i never cry...lol, i see some of my friends going yeah right...lol but thats y u r ma friend, i can cry in front of you....
anyway, thru with ma ugly shoe revolt, tryin to revolt against front office now...wearing just shirts to work, looking more sexy than usual so i dont get put there just in case customers think looking down ma bust line is far more preety than revalidating thier dividend warrants...lol
and there's that date im trying not to talk about....i thinkl i need a hook up badly abi, what do u think?
and today i sent a proposal in trying to loose ma absolutely boringly normal life and stood on one leg, did the deed and now im getting favourable responses so ill soon have to cumpulsorily go for parties and book launches...good ones, women stuff, youth stuff, comedy raves and movie releases...look at me sounding like i live in hollywood carlifornia...lol
i mean Ali Baba's shows, AY's shows, night of a thousand laffs, meet Betty Irabor,Funmi Iyanda and those nigerian females we think are all dat, trying to make ma life fun....it will be fun, i promise myself, i wont moon over maself nemore,
im hot!
like a co worker said and i quote im sweet,charming,cool,calming,soothing,sexy and absolutely cute!
catch y'all later
ciao
xxxxx
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
bribery
i just overheard a conversation, guess what?
ma H.O.P and ma bosses deputy were just dropping ma name for a front desk position which in ma office is considered as the position right next to the big shots...am i being bribed?
and Fola holla back does this come with a raise?
yeah the job is killing me nowadays, got so much to do and u pay me so lil...lol
i did promise to stop bugging on the pay packet...pardon me...cowries, that im being paid, mentioned for the last time...
a friend of mine just started his own blog, free ad space? boy they dont pay me enuf...oops, not again...lol
so check out tatafohq.blogspot.com and meet up with one of the craziest yet most intense people i knw....ad break...lol
wanted to name this post ugly shoes cos as a riot protest this week, ive been wearing just dat to work.... ok, wont mention ma cowries again butthats wat im protesting for...
started working with finery but the shoes i wore yesterday, i swore id never wear immediately i saw ma mumz bring em outta her bag, they are wat i call ma ugly betty shoes, wish i could put up a picture, maybe later...
they look like they were made for men, i do that with ma slips but never with shoes, i have ugly feet so ugly shoes? just make them a sight to behold...
today, i went clomp clomp in shoes i had to fish out from under ma bed, the cemetery of all ma old shoes, i carefully cleaned off the dust shut ma eyes and put ma feet in them, they were crying for mercy, believe me i heard em...i dont wanna, ma left foot sighed...u cant make me!!! that was ma right foot exercising its freedom of speech
but i ignored them and went clomp clomp to ma living room only to hear ma baby bro go...no not those shoes!
he tried but the revolt must go on, tommorows shoes have been repaired 30 sumthing times over, no cute feet for this chick...lol
if i get put at front desk, i knw a good tactic to scare customers away...put ma feet up!! lol
ma H.O.P and ma bosses deputy were just dropping ma name for a front desk position which in ma office is considered as the position right next to the big shots...am i being bribed?
and Fola holla back does this come with a raise?
yeah the job is killing me nowadays, got so much to do and u pay me so lil...lol
i did promise to stop bugging on the pay packet...pardon me...cowries, that im being paid, mentioned for the last time...
a friend of mine just started his own blog, free ad space? boy they dont pay me enuf...oops, not again...lol
so check out tatafohq.blogspot.com and meet up with one of the craziest yet most intense people i knw....ad break...lol
wanted to name this post ugly shoes cos as a riot protest this week, ive been wearing just dat to work.... ok, wont mention ma cowries again butthats wat im protesting for...
started working with finery but the shoes i wore yesterday, i swore id never wear immediately i saw ma mumz bring em outta her bag, they are wat i call ma ugly betty shoes, wish i could put up a picture, maybe later...
they look like they were made for men, i do that with ma slips but never with shoes, i have ugly feet so ugly shoes? just make them a sight to behold...
today, i went clomp clomp in shoes i had to fish out from under ma bed, the cemetery of all ma old shoes, i carefully cleaned off the dust shut ma eyes and put ma feet in them, they were crying for mercy, believe me i heard em...i dont wanna, ma left foot sighed...u cant make me!!! that was ma right foot exercising its freedom of speech
but i ignored them and went clomp clomp to ma living room only to hear ma baby bro go...no not those shoes!
he tried but the revolt must go on, tommorows shoes have been repaired 30 sumthing times over, no cute feet for this chick...lol
if i get put at front desk, i knw a good tactic to scare customers away...put ma feet up!! lol
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
ooops!
okay, people shoulda noticed ma picture went bye bye, had ma boss read ma blog,that was more crazy than i ever thought this could get....
maybe i didnt think it through, getting a blog is like a diary the whole world reads...
neway ma thoughts have been going real nutty recently, gotta catch ma self sumtimes, im getting bored with evrything so wierd stuff really wierd stuff appeals to me now, i was at work one day, normal day, boring as hell, and the thought occurs to me, what happens if i climb a table and start a striptease?
pass me a pole someone, i need to do the slide or the milkshake....
im gonna loose ma job one of these days...lol
like im at work and thinking who in here is cute enough for me to make out with in the bathroom, guys if you read this im trully sorry i picked none of y'all, y'all are ma homies....
ok away from the crazy thoughts that have bewitched ma thoughts nowadays.....
i seem to do something fun sha,
maybe smoke igbo or do cocaine....dunno?
i wanna quit ma job though, seem to be as unsteady and as unfocused as ever.....
i wanna quit cos theres no money there, never received as lil money aas im being offered now, never!!!
ill stop griping about that when ma salary is increased, yes Fola, increase my salary!!!
or ill sue...just kidding about legal issues, would like a salary increase please....
by the way sendidng out forms for those who want to apply to be ma aristo...conditions and terms apply....
apply here, watch this spot...viva!
maybe i didnt think it through, getting a blog is like a diary the whole world reads...
neway ma thoughts have been going real nutty recently, gotta catch ma self sumtimes, im getting bored with evrything so wierd stuff really wierd stuff appeals to me now, i was at work one day, normal day, boring as hell, and the thought occurs to me, what happens if i climb a table and start a striptease?
pass me a pole someone, i need to do the slide or the milkshake....
im gonna loose ma job one of these days...lol
like im at work and thinking who in here is cute enough for me to make out with in the bathroom, guys if you read this im trully sorry i picked none of y'all, y'all are ma homies....
ok away from the crazy thoughts that have bewitched ma thoughts nowadays.....
i seem to do something fun sha,
maybe smoke igbo or do cocaine....dunno?
i wanna quit ma job though, seem to be as unsteady and as unfocused as ever.....
i wanna quit cos theres no money there, never received as lil money aas im being offered now, never!!!
ill stop griping about that when ma salary is increased, yes Fola, increase my salary!!!
or ill sue...just kidding about legal issues, would like a salary increase please....
by the way sendidng out forms for those who want to apply to be ma aristo...conditions and terms apply....
apply here, watch this spot...viva!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
im back!
hey people, i cant believe it ma self....ma blog, im here, i'm here.... Rolly had to scold me terribly before i decided to come back, thanks sweets
but hey im back so no bother.....
whats been happening...hmmm, if i am correct the last time i was here was way over in august last year, wow, its been a while. anyway whats happened since...well not much, let me see... nothing?
ok a whole lot happened that im wondering which one would be safe to talk about. i think i spoke on ma graduation abi? that one na long story i stil dont feel like sharing.
ok, let me see...i started working recently and talking bout the different characters here would get ma ass whooped...lol.
but wait this place na goldmine o, the characters alone can get me rights for a storybook, ok let me start with ma first day. no taking this personal people, ok?
i go talk, ma first day at work...hmm
i walked into work that monday on shaky legs, me fresh meat from grad school, i no no anything, j.j.c with ma fancy shirt and wobbly heels, im no heel wearing someborri but due to work i don begin to dey feel like big chick.
i walked up to the counter and told the lady ther who ill refer only as missy,
me: ill like to see the m.d please, im from mr. such n such
missy:( looking me over), he's not around, (smackin kpchew kpchew gum) you can hav a seat.
me: in ma mind, no tear ma cloth o..thank God i wore Hawkes and Curtis
while seating i looked round ma future prison, na me my mama con throw here to make responsible....
no fine boys...damn!
chicks dey small?
mentally counting thru ma wardrobe...jeans..nope, jeans....nope, Ye, i no get cloth...
unless i start a revolution and start to wear jeans and tops to the office....no way,
ok, point stated, i no get cloth to go to work...and thats important...while sitting there trying not to talk to maself before missy thinks na craze person wey come see m.d, in walked Mini boss with a Tiny lugging a laptop like three times her weight....
ma first deductions, ok, ogas daaughter, on holiday?
anyway, im terribly tired...i cant keep goin thru d motions of eveything that went thru ma mind cos a million things go thru ma mind a minute.
met da bossman, got reffered to Mini boss who introduced me to those id be working with, ma mind started to wander
he walked me into a room and showed me a humongous pile of certificates, in ma mind im like
shuo, una no hear say na Bsc i carry come?
hes smiling like he offered me ice cream
as he left the room ma alter ego started a conversation with him in ma subconcious...
Bros abeg show,
wetin be this?
den tel u say i dey no get work for house?
abi i look like i dey that desperate wey i go come dey put something for envelope, na wetin i wear ma fine shirt come this place do abi?
THUNDER FIRE U! tufiA
but i did none of that,
I shut ma alter ego up and behaved myself
i did that for three days, swearing and cursing the whole time through
under ma breath of course....na who born me well?
the next day i swore to maselfthat i was thru with crappy jobs, i wont wait to be given something to do, ill give myself a job... nothing do me...stood at the doorway to the outer office and browsed.
hmmm, boring, boring, boring, boring, i go die o, wow, yawn, yawn, na wa!
i want to go back to school....what do you think?
im tired of writing ill be back viva!
is it me or this thing no dey flow, maybe wat exskulnerd said is true...ther must be bloggers block in the air!!
viva neway!
but hey im back so no bother.....
whats been happening...hmmm, if i am correct the last time i was here was way over in august last year, wow, its been a while. anyway whats happened since...well not much, let me see... nothing?
ok a whole lot happened that im wondering which one would be safe to talk about. i think i spoke on ma graduation abi? that one na long story i stil dont feel like sharing.
ok, let me see...i started working recently and talking bout the different characters here would get ma ass whooped...lol.
but wait this place na goldmine o, the characters alone can get me rights for a storybook, ok let me start with ma first day. no taking this personal people, ok?
i go talk, ma first day at work...hmm
i walked into work that monday on shaky legs, me fresh meat from grad school, i no no anything, j.j.c with ma fancy shirt and wobbly heels, im no heel wearing someborri but due to work i don begin to dey feel like big chick.
i walked up to the counter and told the lady ther who ill refer only as missy,
me: ill like to see the m.d please, im from mr. such n such
missy:( looking me over), he's not around, (smackin kpchew kpchew gum) you can hav a seat.
me: in ma mind, no tear ma cloth o..thank God i wore Hawkes and Curtis
while seating i looked round ma future prison, na me my mama con throw here to make responsible....
no fine boys...damn!
chicks dey small?
mentally counting thru ma wardrobe...jeans..nope, jeans....nope, Ye, i no get cloth...
unless i start a revolution and start to wear jeans and tops to the office....no way,
ok, point stated, i no get cloth to go to work...and thats important...while sitting there trying not to talk to maself before missy thinks na craze person wey come see m.d, in walked Mini boss with a Tiny lugging a laptop like three times her weight....
ma first deductions, ok, ogas daaughter, on holiday?
anyway, im terribly tired...i cant keep goin thru d motions of eveything that went thru ma mind cos a million things go thru ma mind a minute.
met da bossman, got reffered to Mini boss who introduced me to those id be working with, ma mind started to wander
he walked me into a room and showed me a humongous pile of certificates, in ma mind im like
shuo, una no hear say na Bsc i carry come?
hes smiling like he offered me ice cream
as he left the room ma alter ego started a conversation with him in ma subconcious...
Bros abeg show,
wetin be this?
den tel u say i dey no get work for house?
abi i look like i dey that desperate wey i go come dey put something for envelope, na wetin i wear ma fine shirt come this place do abi?
THUNDER FIRE U! tufiA
but i did none of that,
I shut ma alter ego up and behaved myself
i did that for three days, swearing and cursing the whole time through
under ma breath of course....na who born me well?
the next day i swore to maselfthat i was thru with crappy jobs, i wont wait to be given something to do, ill give myself a job... nothing do me...stood at the doorway to the outer office and browsed.
hmmm, boring, boring, boring, boring, i go die o, wow, yawn, yawn, na wa!
i want to go back to school....what do you think?
im tired of writing ill be back viva!
is it me or this thing no dey flow, maybe wat exskulnerd said is true...ther must be bloggers block in the air!!
viva neway!
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