shontelle,ehn that girl was looking for my trouble when she sang the song...yes, it was my trouble she was finding..and my trouble she will get. i love the song, it makes me smile but the sad thing is that i cant wear his t.shirt for understated reassons so i decided to rewrite my own version..it goes thus..
trying to decide trying to decide if i really want to go out tonight
im trying on every outfit, but nothing seems like it really fits
telling myself not to call you
got to go on doing what i can do
there's no sense in doing nothing
even if i cant do something
nothing feels right when im not with you
try to look fly but im feeling blue
wanna go out but im used to you
wanna stand tall,wanna dump my crew
dropping my dress and those yaba shoes,
nothing makes sense, is this all about you
well, im missing you
now...
im trying to try your t shirt on
(but its a bit tight)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(this is making me more miserable)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(have i gained weight?)
im trying to try your t shirt on
sitting on the floor
ive got your t shirt to neck level
this is making me sweat
i can smell you on this t shirt
wait a minute is that not my sweat?
i dont even know why im trying
this frigging t shirt has got me sighing
trying to put my hands now in it
i think i did it its just a tight fit
nothing feels right when im not with you
try to look fly but im feeling blue
wanna go out but im stuck here too
trying this shirt on making me blue
blah, blah,blah
im trying to try your t shirt on
(but its a bit tight)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(have i gained weight?)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(i think ive got it)
now ive got your t shirt on
and i feel foolish....
really, he's a lot slimmer than me, i can't get it on....lol
Monday, February 16, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
2 months late for a happy new year?
hey folks, haven't been here in a while i'm so sorry. dont even know why im blogging, i feel lke i have nothing to say. but ill be back, with plenty to say very very soon, in the meantime, new things are in the works for this ineffable lil critter...lol
Thursday, November 20, 2008
feed and fork?
feed and fork....feed and fork...the last words of the deaconess echoed all around the church auditorium as if a taboo had occured in the house of the Lord,in the holy of holies!
a mist cleared from my eyes as i shook my head to clear the mist and the sound echoing deep within my medula...
but she said it to make her point sink in deeply, and trust me, it did, it sank deep, deep in the minds of the astonished young ladies who had just heard the greatly respected deaconess use the word we all prefered to use on the sly and cover our mouths coquettishly in great shock and lower our eyes and wrinkle our noses in great distaste as if we smelled something foul....all na for show!
so that we would seem like good christian girls who didint use the words fork, fork, fork...
anyway, deaconess was mad at us, mad at useless women in general and was pleading with us not to be women of no ambition, women who went,
my dia, i need to buy payint"
so she was urging us to be women of virtue and women who would be busy with thier hands and bring something to the table when we met the man who would tempt us enough to loose our minds and say the words that chain you to them forever? that kain thing..
so she said to make her point sink, i dont want any one of you to end up like those women all a man has to do to keep them is feed and fork...
so i urge you girls just like my deaconess shocked me to death making her point...
dont let them reduce you to FEED AND FORK!!!!!!
a mist cleared from my eyes as i shook my head to clear the mist and the sound echoing deep within my medula...
but she said it to make her point sink in deeply, and trust me, it did, it sank deep, deep in the minds of the astonished young ladies who had just heard the greatly respected deaconess use the word we all prefered to use on the sly and cover our mouths coquettishly in great shock and lower our eyes and wrinkle our noses in great distaste as if we smelled something foul....all na for show!
so that we would seem like good christian girls who didint use the words fork, fork, fork...
anyway, deaconess was mad at us, mad at useless women in general and was pleading with us not to be women of no ambition, women who went,
my dia, i need to buy payint"
so she was urging us to be women of virtue and women who would be busy with thier hands and bring something to the table when we met the man who would tempt us enough to loose our minds and say the words that chain you to them forever? that kain thing..
so she said to make her point sink, i dont want any one of you to end up like those women all a man has to do to keep them is feed and fork...
so i urge you girls just like my deaconess shocked me to death making her point...
dont let them reduce you to FEED AND FORK!!!!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
missing persons alert
where is orobo?
it has come to my notice that there's a missing persons alert has gone out for the location of orobo, orobo who is a seemingly gifted individual seems to have warmed the hearts of mechanics, danfo drivers and okada riders nationwide!
but the sad news is orobo seems to have gone missing over an alarming period of years and has not been located!
yet she remains alive in the hearts of all her fans nationwide, such that they reach out and call her name at random, each hoping they have finally located her...
more alarming is the fact that she must have looked exactly like me!!!
or a couple of other young gifted women nationwide....
if this seems to be the case when you are walking down the street then you know that you must join the nationwide search to avoid this case of mistaken identity...
as i walk down the street past a mechanic shop, two young fellas were staring...one discreetly coughed out the word...orobo while giving me a furtive glance, no im not her, you must be mistaken, i said with a smile....a case of mistaken identity...
as i go to the buspark, where different okada riders were parked i heard the name agan, orobo...i looked back to establish where the name had rung out from but they all looked away, slightly dissapointed im sure that they had not located thier semi godess...
who is orobo, i asked myself, and why on earth does she look like me?
as i tried to board a bus to the market, tejuosho i believe it is called, i heard the conductor go "orobo take am easy o"...i was getting preety frustrated at this point...i am not her! i cried out hoping to reassure him as he looked in my face...but all i got was a bewildered bland stare from him as if i had gone mad!
while in the bus, a young dirty looking man was about to join my seat and he said to me, orobo shift now...but im not her, i protested, i was tired of saying this already,
it looks like this Nigerian people really loved this girl...she must have been a superstar of some sort to be known far and wide by everyone...maybe a movie star even, i mused as my bus made it's way to the market...
when we got to tejuosho, thats another story entirely ill shaRE WITH YOU ANOTHER DAY...
the young men could not stop chanting and reaching for me, orobo come buy from me..they kept on reaching for me and pulling me towards thier stalls, orobo, orobo, orobo, they kept chanting, i decided at this point to keep smiling politely ....a little pretense to be this orobo fella, wont hurt would it?
i declined all thier ofers politely as i bought my african crafts and left the stall.
it was the same heroine worship as i made my way outta the market. orobo, u no go buy? orobo...orobo....it was then i decided to find out who this orobo is...but unfortunately google and alll other search engines weren't any help...
so im reaching out to all Nigerians who read this blog, who is orobo?
where can i find her?
i need to speak with her urgently......
posted by my cousin who visited naija ...true story...lol
it has come to my notice that there's a missing persons alert has gone out for the location of orobo, orobo who is a seemingly gifted individual seems to have warmed the hearts of mechanics, danfo drivers and okada riders nationwide!
but the sad news is orobo seems to have gone missing over an alarming period of years and has not been located!
yet she remains alive in the hearts of all her fans nationwide, such that they reach out and call her name at random, each hoping they have finally located her...
more alarming is the fact that she must have looked exactly like me!!!
or a couple of other young gifted women nationwide....
if this seems to be the case when you are walking down the street then you know that you must join the nationwide search to avoid this case of mistaken identity...
as i walk down the street past a mechanic shop, two young fellas were staring...one discreetly coughed out the word...orobo while giving me a furtive glance, no im not her, you must be mistaken, i said with a smile....a case of mistaken identity...
as i go to the buspark, where different okada riders were parked i heard the name agan, orobo...i looked back to establish where the name had rung out from but they all looked away, slightly dissapointed im sure that they had not located thier semi godess...
who is orobo, i asked myself, and why on earth does she look like me?
as i tried to board a bus to the market, tejuosho i believe it is called, i heard the conductor go "orobo take am easy o"...i was getting preety frustrated at this point...i am not her! i cried out hoping to reassure him as he looked in my face...but all i got was a bewildered bland stare from him as if i had gone mad!
while in the bus, a young dirty looking man was about to join my seat and he said to me, orobo shift now...but im not her, i protested, i was tired of saying this already,
it looks like this Nigerian people really loved this girl...she must have been a superstar of some sort to be known far and wide by everyone...maybe a movie star even, i mused as my bus made it's way to the market...
when we got to tejuosho, thats another story entirely ill shaRE WITH YOU ANOTHER DAY...
the young men could not stop chanting and reaching for me, orobo come buy from me..they kept on reaching for me and pulling me towards thier stalls, orobo, orobo, orobo, they kept chanting, i decided at this point to keep smiling politely ....a little pretense to be this orobo fella, wont hurt would it?
i declined all thier ofers politely as i bought my african crafts and left the stall.
it was the same heroine worship as i made my way outta the market. orobo, u no go buy? orobo...orobo....it was then i decided to find out who this orobo is...but unfortunately google and alll other search engines weren't any help...
so im reaching out to all Nigerians who read this blog, who is orobo?
where can i find her?
i need to speak with her urgently......
posted by my cousin who visited naija ...true story...lol
Monday, September 29, 2008
moody
- seems everyone is moody so im not just going to add to it.
- had a big dirty fight with my mother this morning which resulted to my hollering my head off a nd feeling mighty ashamed of it right after...
- you know that feeling of IM AN ADULT DON'T YOU DARE TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD MAMA..complete with the swagger, the neck movement and the bulging of veins? yea, did all dat.
- but one thing remains clear, i gotta get my butt out my mama's house preety soon. twenty something odd years of seeing ma preety face and the madam is fed up.
- im fed up too but mostly cos im not a people person and can only carry out the charade in small doses.
- i miss someone real bad and im trying to understand why and analyse what would happen if i were to loose this person i miss and that analysis made me cry for close to an hour this morning.
- then i realise that im just a simpering fool with "plenty water for my eye" and that made me laugh for close to thirty minutes making folks at home think i've gona a little loco.
- i believe i have gone a tad bit more loco than i was before but it's no cause for alarm instead of "offing cloth" ond standing naked on the streets im just becoming more withdrawn and stuff...
- im desperately trying to get a job tho@ im kinda filling my hands with a lot of projects here and there small buisnesses and such but apart from trying to redeem my broke and bleeding state, i need something interesting with a bite that will rouse me from bed in the morning.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Food Glorious Food....KPOOM!
food glorious food
hot sausage and custard
ice cream on the move
cold berries and mustard!
of course ill blog on food..im on a diET!
i miss food, been eating just once a day for a while now, it seems funny that its when im on a diet, i begin to fantasise about food, right now as i type, im thinking of hot steamy pounded yam with stewed vegetables and lots and lots of stockfish, mummy style...
rice with steamy stewed peppers, stockfish and minced meats...hot eba with egusi soup and lotsa lotsa stockfish...i had better stop now before i hurt myself real bad...
been on a sugar diet as well, butt\ strictly cos of my health. so i miss coke. i miss coke..hi, my name is ify, and im a cokeaholic. a recovering cokeaholic. really, shucks.
dont really have nothing to blog about just blogging for the fun of it, havent been here in a while either so im gonna take my chances. had a birhtday pass by, was depressed as hell as usual. got a couple of books out of the deal, my favorite gifts were the sidney sheldon books i got from sanchez and the icarus girl from exschool nerd. thanks guys!
well, my love for food will never end, ulcers and all...
its funny that these would be on the same page but we cant talk about food without mentioning the joys of taking a dump...lol we actually can but id do it all the same...
the past four days ive come to appreciate the joys of taking a dump cos i had a lil case of food poisoning...
i wont mention heaving and throwing up...that part made me really sad but even more embarrassing was having to take a dump nearly 12 times a day!
even when i was trying to control it, it was driving me nuts!
like i was at a friends place recently, you know how there are some friends you are not comfortable using the bathroom in front of, especially if they are guys?
well, i was in a friends place last week, and his friends were there as well, i was meeting them for the 2nd time or so and still trying to make a good impression forming quiet and composed and all that....
and here comes the urge to take a dump...and this aint the usual, comes with a sharp twinge of pain, where your face crumples up and is locked in a grimace.
are you ok? thats me they are asking...im fine..
attack two,my face resembles a troll's now...
are you sure you are okay?
im fine. may i use your bathroom?
bad enough im using your bathroom and you all have to pause the movie we were watching trying to be polite but i dont want you to. no we'll wait for you.
see now they can gauge the amount of time i spend in here while waiting so they can finish thier movie...damn!
so im taking the glorious dump and my tummy starts to misbehave big time!!
the bathroom is right next to the living room and not really sound proof if you know what i mean,
tummy trouble...kpooom! thats me passing gas and trying to keep it quiet...
kpooooooom! wow, why does this stuff happen to only me!!!!!
kpoom kpoom! what the !@#$% is this about? im a good kid,im a lady we dont do this shit!
how am i going to go out and face everybody now?
wait, here's ma cellphone...i know what to do...i start playing kanye west's stronger, the loudest volume i can get...that that that that dont kill me...kpooom
can only make me stronger...kpoom kpoom
i need you to come here now...kpoosh
cos i cant wait much longer....kpo
i need you right now...Jesus that's the only way i coulda covered up,
but they are really good folks, either they didnt hear, or they be very polite folk cos not a word was said...lol
hot sausage and custard
ice cream on the move
cold berries and mustard!
of course ill blog on food..im on a diET!
i miss food, been eating just once a day for a while now, it seems funny that its when im on a diet, i begin to fantasise about food, right now as i type, im thinking of hot steamy pounded yam with stewed vegetables and lots and lots of stockfish, mummy style...
rice with steamy stewed peppers, stockfish and minced meats...hot eba with egusi soup and lotsa lotsa stockfish...i had better stop now before i hurt myself real bad...
been on a sugar diet as well, butt\ strictly cos of my health. so i miss coke. i miss coke..hi, my name is ify, and im a cokeaholic. a recovering cokeaholic. really, shucks.
dont really have nothing to blog about just blogging for the fun of it, havent been here in a while either so im gonna take my chances. had a birhtday pass by, was depressed as hell as usual. got a couple of books out of the deal, my favorite gifts were the sidney sheldon books i got from sanchez and the icarus girl from exschool nerd. thanks guys!
well, my love for food will never end, ulcers and all...
its funny that these would be on the same page but we cant talk about food without mentioning the joys of taking a dump...lol we actually can but id do it all the same...
the past four days ive come to appreciate the joys of taking a dump cos i had a lil case of food poisoning...
i wont mention heaving and throwing up...that part made me really sad but even more embarrassing was having to take a dump nearly 12 times a day!
even when i was trying to control it, it was driving me nuts!
like i was at a friends place recently, you know how there are some friends you are not comfortable using the bathroom in front of, especially if they are guys?
well, i was in a friends place last week, and his friends were there as well, i was meeting them for the 2nd time or so and still trying to make a good impression forming quiet and composed and all that....
and here comes the urge to take a dump...and this aint the usual, comes with a sharp twinge of pain, where your face crumples up and is locked in a grimace.
are you ok? thats me they are asking...im fine..
attack two,my face resembles a troll's now...
are you sure you are okay?
im fine. may i use your bathroom?
bad enough im using your bathroom and you all have to pause the movie we were watching trying to be polite but i dont want you to. no we'll wait for you.
see now they can gauge the amount of time i spend in here while waiting so they can finish thier movie...damn!
so im taking the glorious dump and my tummy starts to misbehave big time!!
the bathroom is right next to the living room and not really sound proof if you know what i mean,
tummy trouble...kpooom! thats me passing gas and trying to keep it quiet...
kpooooooom! wow, why does this stuff happen to only me!!!!!
kpoom kpoom! what the !@#$% is this about? im a good kid,im a lady we dont do this shit!
how am i going to go out and face everybody now?
wait, here's ma cellphone...i know what to do...i start playing kanye west's stronger, the loudest volume i can get...that that that that dont kill me...kpooom
can only make me stronger...kpoom kpoom
i need you to come here now...kpoosh
cos i cant wait much longer....kpo
i need you right now...Jesus that's the only way i coulda covered up,
but they are really good folks, either they didnt hear, or they be very polite folk cos not a word was said...lol
Sunday, July 20, 2008
mirror mirror on the wall...
recently ive been so depressed, im not sure i can blog about anything intelligently...
it seemed to be that way with everyone i knew, everyone was having that type of month, you know the one where you wake up and wish you could roll back into bed and not come out until God made everything better, like realign the stars or something....
life hasn't been generally that bad, had a couple of funny incidents recently, even the fact that stuff were determined to go so wrong most days was begginning to get humorous...
after the chapman incident which exschoolnerd has famously blogged on, you would think life would settle down and stop throwing me in the mix, a couple of weeks ago, i was doing nutty stuff with a friend of mine..leaves a lot to the imagination...i can see tatafo antennas going sky high....
immediately after, while still trying to get myself together...i received an sms which read..
"i wish i could give you a mirror to see yourself"
it was ridiculous cos firstly, we were on the top floor in an enclosed space so if anyone had been a peeping tom, he or she should have been doing the peeping with binoculars or at least a telescope...
mirror mirror on the wall, who's been nutty, yea...we all
im distracted, an old crush just stepped into the room....
anyway, the text turned out to have a continuation which i didnt see...cant do this right...see how im typing boring....gotta go..bye
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