360 days

in the last 360 days i have

grown

lived life

cried real tears

laughed for joy

been depressed

beat depression

felt oppressed

fought oppression

been in love

lost at love

conquered myself

thought i was ready

discovered i wasn't

doubted myself

followed my instincts

forgave

was fogiven

fallen in love with God

thrown God to the curb

been forgiven by God

thought i was alone

realised i wasn't

thought i was in love

realised i wasn't

thought he could love

found out he couldnt

been closer to my dream

had it snatched away

lost myself

found me again

been thankful

been greatful

grumbled

been humbled

facebooked

twittered

said thrash

withered

loved life

lived it

found life

pleased with it

aspired

acquired

been bored

had fun

made friends

lost some

found friends

not one

shouted

pleaded

wanted

needed

learnt

bent

sighed

asked why

smiled

been filled with guile

been wily

been sweet

been bitter

been neat

oooo i'm tired

looking forward to the next year, would probably get to it all over again...the next 360 days

creepy

im awake...sitting in an unfamiliar house up the creek alarmingly close to the island of bananas. it's 5 minutes past 12 and the noises made by this house are creepy.

simple,

the dogs are howling and growling

the front gate is creaking

the fan is squeaking

crickets are chirping

someone outside keeps mummuring

my heart is palpitating

this close to christmas and all i can think of is dying

there's a door in the house that keeps opening and closing

ok, that's it! im going into the kitchen to find out who is playing with that door.

and if i never blog again?

know that i went on a quest only out of jest and i never did guess that the quest would lead to me without a head!

yea, couildn't make the last part rhyme...

i should be beheaded for my attempt at poetry..

blah blah blah

oh, the joys of blogging

the joy that blogging brings

i can actually say anything

all the while maybe saying nothing

oh, how much have i missed blogging?

as much as the waters cover the sea

oh the joys of blogging

i was planning to say something

about how much i have missed blogging

thaat would surely co ver ewverything

oh, the joys of blogging

got to get ready to go to out now

will be back to blogging in a bit

have i managed to say something?

nobody's home!!!

sometimes i wonder, what exactly is the value of blogging? just a place to let off steam? cos no one is interested in what u think, no one's home!

ok, so i haven't had a comment dropped in a while, doesn't mean im gonna stop expressing myself...i love this life...i love blogging...see you soon!

how to get and keep the man of your dreams

Yeah, I know some of y’all are rolling your eyes at the title...and for those of you who are saying the doctor should take her own medicine, go and sit down jo!

So, saw this in one of my feminine magazines once and it stuck. Not because I believe there are guidelines to falling in love and such but I believe that if there were rules that actually existed or worked? They’ll look kinda like this so pay attention everyone, and guys don’t run yet, need your take on this as well. We all look forward to first dates and such and if you are past that stage, im so giddy with happiness for you, estatic really, we girls love to impress on the first couple of dates so the following are guidelines to follow at the beginning.

First I’ll start with the absolute no no’s

LEADING A MAN INTO THINKING YOU ARE NEEDY AND INSECURE

Girls are expected to expect the guy to pay on first dates. There’s no reason why it shouldn’t be expected but let me let you into a little secret boys, we know that you appreciate girls who lean on you because it makes you feel stronger and such so we accidentally show this in little things such as tripping on the stairs so you can support us, acting helpless so you can drop us off at home or call us a cab, depending on how well the date has gone. Or acting totally clueless around our cars when we had just gone under them to change the tires one hour before the date. WE KNOW YOU LIKE TO FEEL SMARTER, SO WE ACCOMMODATE Y’ALL…lol but ladies, hold up, im thinking Guys don’t buy that any more, they accommodate it for a while, then start thinking they need to get outta there before you need help feeding yourself during the date, ok, just playing but really guys don’t buy the helpless maiden act any more, act like the strong woman you are, you’ll be better for it.
TALKING ABOUT YOUR EXBOYFRIEND IN DEROGATORY TERMS
Now, I don’t even think I need to explain why this is so wrong! Especially when you just got out of a relationship that didn’t go so well, the temptation is great to start mouthing off on how greatly you got hurt and how much of an ass wipe you think your exboyfriend is but CAUTION..ladies, while you are spouting off on your bitterness, take a minute to regard your dates thoughtful sympathetic look, sometimes, he might not be sympathizing with you, he might be pitying the poor sap who got out of your cluthes cos right there you seem like a bitter hag, which is not attractive at all and just suppose your relationship with him does not work out? What if he is one of those far thinkers thinking is this how she’ll bad mouth me in the future? God forbid! So ladies when you are asked about past relationships? Take a deep breath, wait ten seconds, swallow that bile, smile and then speak, you’ll find that it works wonders!

RUNNING OTHER WOMEN DOWN

Yes, we aren’t denying it, it’s in our genes. Sometimes we see that girl rocking those shoes or handbag and we like or have a girl crush immediately but some of us dey beef unnecessarily! Why does it hurt a fellow sister when another sister is looking good? That’s something you swallow when on a date unless you want to drive that guy far far away! And just in case the girl isn’t looking good like in my case when I see a chick struggling with blush looking like some “mammy water” up in the house, I usually pass a comment to myself, not out loud tho’ just loud enough so I can hear, usually makes guys think im a lil loco but ill rather look loco than seem binshy…lol

TOO MUCH PHYSICAL CONTACT

When on a first date or a second or third with a guy you really like, if you have plans on moving the relationship to a level beyond just dates, be careful with the physical contact, not that there shouldn't be physical contact, you know those brush of fingers and such that lead to goosebumps, i know i get them, but the physical contact should not send the wrong signals

TARGETING A MAN'S SEXUAL SIDE FIRST

This is almost like the rule beforehand, but i just thought this should be stressed differently, i know we all like to look hot on first dates, but not too hot so we don't tend to burn down the guy especially if we really like him, the messages we send on the first couple of dates, decide how the rest of the relationship will go so you want to watch what you wear, you can look modest and still look sexy ok?
and finally, this i think is the most important, wait for it...
NOT KNOWING HOW TO MEASURE A GUYS RELATIONSHIP QUOTIENT

GIRLS, THIS IS A SECRET GUYS DONT WANT US TO KNOW, MOST GUYS ARE NOT INTERESTED IN LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS..it's true! so size up your guy, what category does he fall into?

FLING

He just wants you for the meantime, he's bored and in need of a little excitement. listen to him, he'll drop some clues when he's speaking. guys are known to jabo, we are just seeing too many stars to get these clues..

ONE NIGHTER

WE ALL KNOW WHAT THIS GUYS AFTER, SO WATCH OUT GIRLS, HE'LL BE GONE IN THE MORNING!

BED AND BREAKFAST

an upgrade on the one nighter, he'll feed you and then BE GONE IN THE MORNING!

RINGS AND ROSES

now, i personally like to call this roses and romance cos of my whole mbrugh...shudder on the rings thing, can't explain it, but the kind of guy who will woo you, make you swoon and be there to catch you when you fall for him instead of allowing you hit the floor ...YAKATA! will be obvious if you just shine your eyes well well, dont be blown away by his accent, or the fact he drives a jaguar...tho' that's cool too, yea really cool, what was i saying...yea..measure a guy's relationship quotient if you've decided he'll be the man of your dreams, then re evaluate, go back to the books and find out...figure out, if you've been fleeced .

.until i come with the tid bits on how to keep him once you've got him ladies dont forget to ginger your swagger or swagger your ginger whichever one suits your fancy...lol

im so sorry

im sorry guys, haven't been here a while. just havent felt like blogging in a loooong while. still dont. dealing with a million and one really bad stuff right now and just dont feel like blogging, but il be back...soon...sigh..lol

t.shirt blues

shontelle,ehn that girl was looking for my trouble when she sang the song...yes, it was my trouble she was finding..and my trouble she will get. i love the song, it makes me smile but the sad thing is that i cant wear his t.shirt for understated reassons so i decided to rewrite my own version..it goes thus..

trying to decide trying to decide if i really want to go out tonight
im trying on every outfit, but nothing seems like it really fits
telling myself not to call you
got to go on doing what i can do
there's no sense in doing nothing
even if i cant do something

nothing feels right when im not with you
try to look fly but im feeling blue
wanna go out but im used to you
wanna stand tall,wanna dump my crew
dropping my dress and those yaba shoes,
nothing makes sense, is this all about you
well, im missing you
now...

im trying to try your t shirt on
(but its a bit tight)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(this is making me more miserable)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(have i gained weight?)
im trying to try your t shirt on

sitting on the floor
ive got your t shirt to neck level
this is making me sweat
i can smell you on this t shirt
wait a minute is that not my sweat?
i dont even know why im trying
this frigging t shirt has got me sighing
trying to put my hands now in it
i think i did it its just a tight fit

nothing feels right when im not with you
try to look fly but im feeling blue
wanna go out but im stuck here too
trying this shirt on making me blue
blah, blah,blah

im trying to try your t shirt on
(but its a bit tight)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(have i gained weight?)
im trying to try your t shirt on
(i think ive got it)
now ive got your t shirt on
and i feel foolish....


really, he's a lot slimmer than me, i can't get it on....lol

2 months late for a happy new year?

hey folks, haven't been here in a while i'm so sorry. dont even know why im blogging, i feel lke i have nothing to say. but ill be back, with plenty to say very very soon, in the meantime, new things are in the works for this ineffable lil critter...lol