Dear Future Husband

 Dear Future Husband,

I am writing this note to you because in my life have been described as eccentric or just plain weird even though I consider myself quite plain simple. This situation made me decide to give you some pointers on how to go about dealing with the personality that is me in a manner that will make both our lives easier especially when living under the same roof.

Dear Future Husband, you should have realised in the pre knowing me phase that detest being "toasted". The "Hey baby" "Ii miiss you" and all that rubbish seems to fly over my head like a flock of geese. I know lines when I hear them and I am quiiiite plain spoken so I would have probably said to you once or twiice in the "pre knowing" me stage to just stop all that silliness. Even the words "I love you" *grimace*, "can't do without you", "can't get you out of my mind"...*insert barfing sound*. oh well, if you do become my DFH, all these lines stay far far away so we have a happy marriage ok?

Dear Future Husband, Can I call you DFH?

I am not a morning person! if you ever, even by mistake, happen to see the face I make when I am woken in the early hours of the day, and by early, I am reffering to hours before 11 am, please do not panic. For some really awful reason, I find it almost impossible to function anytime before midday so I am grouchy in the morning, sorry, can't put two coherent thoughts together or be bothered to put a smile oon my face. That said, If by any chance you were expecting "sunny side up" for breakfast, please dump those evil thoughts now! Talking about breakfast, could you handle it? I promise that Lunch, Dinner, Midnight snacks will be the complete epitome of fabulosity but breakfast? *shudders*

DFH, despite the "goings on" about little things and how men seem t have been created without the little things button and all the self help books on how good wives ignore the little things and not let it get to them? Trust me DFH, the little things will matter with me. DFH, leaving the toilet seat up, I'm not even going to assume that you would mess it up, squeezing the toothpaste tube from the middle and not the bottom, YES! Those little things! They will drive me crazier than a mad woman who saw her period. DFH, my crazy buttons are highly functional so if you see me piick up that annoying tube of paste and just squish it and stomp on it repeatedly or slam the lid of the WC dowN and jump up and dooown on it like a monkey while hollering at the top of my lungs UP!  DOOWN! UP! DOWN! DOOWN! DOWN! you shoould know DFH, that enough is enooough.

DFH, I know this is a lot to swallow all at once so I have decided to give it to you in very small doses. Don't mind me, might prove to have a tough exterior but on  the inside I'm a softie. Looking forward to meeting you tho'. Haven't met you yet, I'm afraid.